Hi James,

My name is Mike and I've been reading the books on your site recently. It's a fantastic resource for anyone interested in Vedanta. You make the concepts accessible.

I want to ask you if you would comment on something that happened to me yesterday.  I was standing looking out of my kitchen window when I noticed that I seemed to be looking at something like the setup with a pinhole camera where the whole of my visual field was the lit image and what lay outside my visual field was the dark space around the image, but in this case that dark space had absolutely no boudaries and I seemed to be more it than my body or what appeared within my visual field.

This was accompanied by a very calm feeling. I have never really had this type of perception before since I had a definite sensation of being located outside my visual field in what I wasn't seeing. This became a bit disconcerting after a while as if I was aware of my own body as part of the lit scene.

I closed my eyes and very quickly became aware of something similar with sound, I seemed to be aware of  a not hearing around the whole field of hearing. I did not really check out bodily sensations as it  was getting a bit disorienting as if my awareness was more of what I was not experiencing than what I was experiencing.

What immediately came in to my mind was the word dream, only I found this whole thing almost a literal representation of the idea of reality as a dream, pictorial. It was a feeling of dissociation. Actually being out of the lit scene even though acting within it.

The thing was it was not to do with timeless or spaceless. I noticed it again throughout the day simply by becoming aware of the boundaries of my visual field. Is this all just my mind being a bit clever? I would appreciate it if you would let me know what you think,

With Thanks,

Mike

 

Hi Mike,

I’m sorry for not having written sooner but I caught a nasty virus on the flight back from Germany and have been laid up for the last month.  Your experience is very interesting and I think I can shed some light on it.

Vedanta is the science of reality and its teachings are experience based.  People experience both objective and subjective reality and over time a body of knowledge develops.  Vedanta says there are basically three orders of reality.  The first is the the Self, the knowing principle.  The second is Maya, ignorance, the ‘field’ in which things take place and the third is personal experience. 

You say,  “the whole of my visual field was the lit image and what lay outside my visual field was the dark space around the image, but in this case that dark space had absolutely no boundaries and I seemed to be more it than my body or what appeared within my visual field.”
All three aspects of reality are revealed in your experience, two obvious and one hidden.  The first is ‘the visual field.’  It is your personal experience…what in Vedanta is called jiva sristi, the creation of the individual.  Most people are in this field, indentified with what happens in it.  They do not witness it from ‘outside.’ 
The second aspect is the darkness around the visual field.  This is the Self in the form of ignorance, the larger field in which the pinhole sized individual field appears.  It is called Isvara sristi, the creation of God or macrocosmic ignorance or Maya.  The individual field is a subset of this larger field.  It is symbolized in your epiphany by darkness because it is born of the non-apprehension of your true nature, limitless awareness.

The third aspect is the one who observed these two ‘fields.’  This is not something experienced as an object but that because of which what you experienced is known.  It is the Self.  At the time of this experience you were seeing reality from the Self’s point of view.  This is why it was disorienting.  The body is an object to you, the Self.  Ordinarily you are so identified with the body that it seems like ‘you.’  But when this is no longer a reference point a sense of disorientation occurs.   On the other hand the feeling of calmness that you experienced shows that during the experience you were identified with the Self. 

The conclusions that you drew were very important.  You say, “my awareness was more of what I was not experiencing than what I was experiencing.”  In this experience you identify with the darkness around the pinhole but actually the darkness is an object, just as the pinhole of the visual field is an object.    The experience with the eyes closed is just another representation of this basic structure of reality. 

This experience is meant to convince you that you are not the body/mind entity and its field of experience.   It is meant to show that individual and the total are ‘not you.’   To use your words it is meant to help you dis-associate from all objects and see yourself as the seer, limitless awareness. 

No, it is not your mind being clever.  It is the Self revealing itself to you.  When you completely assimilate the knowledge contained in this wonderful experience you will be free of Mike and Mike’s world.  I hope this has been useful.

James

Hi James,

Thank you for replying to this. What you said seems quite clear. I have found myself noticing this pinhole view at different times and trying to stay with it but it feels forced. I don't meditate. I did a number of years ago do Vipassna meditation for about 5 years but I lost the plot at some point and stopped the practice.

James:  You are correct not to force it.  This kind of perception is not meant to supplant your normal perception.  Dreams in sleep, no matter how important, are only meant to deliver a message.  You wouldn’t want to get stuck in them permanently no matter how pleasant or interesting they are.  The ‘pinhole’ is a kind of waking dream meant to inform you of a truth about yourself and your relationship to what you experience.  Assimilate the truth and let it remain as knowledge, keeping your perception free to experience anything that life sends your way.  If you forget the message it will come again in some form.   

All the best,

James