What is the Self?

Considering the inordinate time and effort spent in the search for happiness one might expect the world to be overflowing with happy people. Why isn't it?
Because we are looking where it isn't.
Where is it then?
In the cave of the Heart the sages say.
Meaning?
Within yourself. It is not 'out there' in the world.
OK, what is it then?
Your innermost Self, whole and complete limitless awareness.
Sounds great, very non-dual, but I've been around.  What's the catch?  To realize it do I have to get a guru, join his or her vast organization and work day and night doing 'selfless service' to burn off my karma?  You need to know that I have great karma and it doesn't help; I'm still dissatisfied who I am. Perhaps you're going to suggest that I tithe to keep the guru jetting around in the lap of luxury 'awakening' people?  Forget it, I'm still paying off my Visa for all the weekend enlightenment intensives I've taken the last few years. And it so happens that everyone I've met who has had an awakening has fallen back to sleep, myself included. Maybe you'd like me to become a 'devotee' of one the recent crop of avatars.... (below)

Don't bother. Avatars are a dime a dozen it seems. Anyone with a couple of epiphanies under his or her spiritual belt is an avatar these days. I also hope you're not trying to sell me on tantra. I fell for that in India in the Eighties and all I got for my trouble was veneral disease, a lot of heartbreak and an unholy craving for sex. And for God's sake don't tell me there is someone out there who can 'transmit' enlightenment at will. If that was possible the whole world would be enlightened by now. I've been blessed with more than my fair share of shaktipats, satoris, epiphanies and fleeting samadhis direct from the third eyes of all the so called 'great masters'...and I still don't know who I am. Finally, if you ask me to 'surrender' I may become........next page bbbb