Are You a Person or not?
Why We Are Here
Greedy for Experience
Who is the Wanter?
Drop Out and Go to
Relationships and Shiva's Penis
Dear Ram,
You say my understanding of how one
reaches the top of the mountain does not allow you to see what I am getting
at." OK. I can accept that, but
please explain what you are getting at?
Ram:
As far as your statement about how one reaches the mountain, I'm saying
that you are the mountain. You cannot
reach it because it is you. So if you
feel that you are not 'there' then you need to know what the mountain is. When you understand what the mountain is you
will see that it is you and you will no longer have to reach it. From what I gather you seem to think that
you are X and the mountain is someone or something else. Is this true? .
If you are the mountain and you
don't know it then the only thing left is to get the knowledge of the
mountain. The traditional teachings say
that you are the mountain. So if you
have a different view, how do you reconcile it with the experience of hundreds
of thousands of realized souls since time immemorial - experience that has
crystallized in the form of the scripture?
If this is a non-dual reality as the scriptures say, then how can there
be a 'you' and a 'mountain?'
So I'm confused about who you
are. Over the last couple of years I've
patiently tried to get a handle on what or who you actually think you are and I
must say that I'm still in the dark.
Your self idea seems to be based solely on personal experience. There's nothing 'wrong' with that, but when I
come up with something from my personal experience, I don't just accept it as
truth or fact. First,
because experience is very fickle, unreliable, and contradictory. And secondly, because I may very possibly be
drawing incorrect conclusions about who I am from
it. What I do is check traditional
sources and see if it jibes with them.
If it does I know I am on the right track. If not, I look more closely into my
experience and the conclusions I've drawn to see if I could be wrong. You've said several times that people don't
understand you. If your experience does
not intersect with universal experience, how can anyone understand and
appreciate it...unless they just happen to have had the same experience and
come to a similar conclusion about it?
In fact, if self knowledge is based solely personal experience, how can
you understand your self? Perhaps the confusion you feel about what to
do and how to do it comes from trying to create a 'you' out of many disparate
feelings and experiences. Scripture says
we are a partless whole. I take this to mean that we are not a somebody abstracted from many disparate experiences, but
are something that precedes and transcends our experience, something that
apparently suffers and enjoys experience, but is unchanged by it. If I'm somebody subject to change by experience,
then I have to continually update my sense of self based on what has just
happened. I was person x yesterday, now
I'm person y, and tomorrow I'm going to be person z. This, as you can see, could cause a lot of
confusion.
The idea I have been trying to
communicate is that you are not a personal somebody. Because you have not responded to this idea I
have to assume that you do not see yourself in this way and deal with you as
the person you purport to be. The
problem with this is that sometimes you are one person and sometimes
another. If you are always changing, how
can you deal with yourself? How can
someone else relate to you? In a
relationship with oneself or others there has to be a solid understanding
between the two parties, a basis of communication and something they can both
refer to when conflict and confusion arises.
If each person has a completely unique personal view of his or herself
and life, then that person is going to find his or herself in conflict or
worse, irrelevant, to world around. And
so relationship and learning, growing, etc. will not happen. And the person will feel isolated and
lonely. Nobody wants this. If there are two yous,
a 'higher' and a lower, particular and universal, the same applies. If you are cut off from essential part of
yourself, it does not feel good.
I'd like to know you. I'd like us to have an understanding and
build a relationship. I've tried over
and over to provide the basis of a relationship by engaging you on the level of
spiritual ideas and I don't feel that anything solid has come of it. In most of my relationships there is a
noticeable trend, a movement toward the same goal, something that provides the
basis of a good friendship, something that one can build on and work together
on.
Why We Are Here
Linda: Rational or not, I feel as though I am just
not very good at being a human.
Ram:
Concerning your statement that you don't make a very good human being, I
believe that God put us here because this is where we work out what needs to be
worked out. He could have put us in a
world that doesn't require working anything out, but did not. If we are going to work out what needs to be
worked out effectively we need to honor and respect the world and know how it
works because everything that we get comes through the world. If a person is not successful it is usually
because he or she is not getting the right support from other people, people
who can help attain their goals. And to
get the support of others, others need to see that they are loved and respected
and paid attention to. This applies not
only to family but to everyone. If you
live in your own world and have no way of making that world come alive for
others they will ignore you. If you are
so wrapped up in the way you see things that you do not take the time to see
how others see it, others will ignore you and the help you need will not
come. The same holds true for your
relationship with your self. If you
ignore the intimations coming from your true self, it will have to assume that
you don't want to communicate. It won't
feel lonely, but you will.
Greedy for Experience
Ram:
My mind has been thinking about you lately, trying to understand the
nature of your problems. I wish I'd come
to see you because I would have been able to more quickly figure things out by
observing you physically and talking directly with you. As it is I've tried to piece things together
from the information I've received in your e-mails. Since I don't like to go off half cocked it
has taken me a long time to come up with a reasonable analysis of your
situation. .
In a way, I think I'm not really the
one to help you. Most of the people that
the Lord sends to me have pretty much finished their worldly duties and can
give their full attention to the discussion.
Perhaps the advice I proffer can be useful, but along with your problem,
I think you're pretty much in denial and probably won't even accept my analysis
of the situation, much less the prescription for the cure. I've received no positive feedback from you
on recent suggestions. Of course, change
involves doing things differently and letting go of certain things to which one
is attached so it is understandable if you cannot accept what I'm about to say.
Anyway, I'll try again and see if I
can get through. I suggest that you not
look for more work, that you quit worrying about your debts, and take more time
off. You are chronically fatigued. You do way too much of everything and the
symptoms are getting more serious. You
suffered a minor heart attack recently.
So the solution is not, as you say in your e-mail, to work another job,
the solution is to take some of the pressure off. If you are so attached to your lifestyle that
you can't live in reduced circumstances, then you need to look at that
attachment. If you want to kill yourself
to preserve a certain style of life, then I think you are fool. There is nothing more important than your
health. If you fall down the social and economic ladder a couple of notches so
what? I went from a fabulous home in a
ritzy neighborhood and high powered work to flop houses and poverty in two
years and it was one of the best things I did.
Are you going to let your pride stand in the way of happiness?
You are right. You are not good at
being a human being. But that doesn't
mean that you can't be good at it. I
would state the problem in terms of values.
Succeeding in the world's or your ego's eyes is more important to you
than your health and your peace of mind.
The spiritual path is about gaining peace of mind. Yet you live in such a way that you only make
your mind more agitated. You can't hang
on to the superficial materialist values that are driving you and think that
you are going to be happy. You are not a
materialist person, in fact I find you to be one of the most spiritual people
I've met, yet you are behaving like a greedy materialist. Greedy for what? For experience. You believe the solution to every situation
is that you should do more. You will not
forego a single activity. When you
should stay home and rest you're off on some foolish adventure, cramming it
into the week end, staying up all night in a wet forest, exhausting and
injuring yourself...and then off to a demanding job on Monday morning. You can do this when you are twenty and get
away with it but you cannot do this when you are in poor health and sixty.
On top of it your ego confuses you
with silly New Age jargon. There is no
question of not accepting financial prosperity. You are not financially prosperous because
you are so greedy for experience that you spend more than you make. Your belief, which is patently false, is that
you shouldn't have to cut back on one expense, but that all you have to do is
'accept prosperity' and the bucks will automatically flow in and solve your
problem. The fact is that at whatever
level of prosperity you are you will not feel prosperous because your craving
for experience is so great that you will inevitably live beyond your
means. Prosperity has nothing to do with
money. It is a feeling that comes when
you have a peaceful mind.
There is no sense yakking about
spiritual topics with you. You need to
come out of your otherworldly dream and stop distracting yourself with mindless
activities. You need to accept the fact
that you are here in this body on earth for a reason and that reason is to
understand how this world works and make it work for you. When you have figured that
out you will quickly become enlightened.
All the work you've done on the spiritual plane will be right there for
you and will take you home. But
spiritual seeking is useless unless you face yourself, refuse to indulge
yourself like you do, quit making excuses, and live a more practical, sensible
life.
So here's the deal. It is painful for me to see you suffer. I hate hearing about all your setbacks and
tragedies and frustrations. It is particularly
painful when I can see that you haven't a clue about how you are sabotaging
yourself. The solution is so simple it
doesn't even occur to you. You have
repressed the voice that tells you to slow down and let go. You have come down foursquare on the side of
the idea that if only you had more money and more work your problems would sort
out. You work like a demon as it is and
you make plenty of money and it hasn't helped.
If the money were inadequate, how can you spend it on things you don't
need? Don't you think there is a reason
why you can't find additional work? You
say your higher self will take care of you but you do not see that it is
preventing you getting this new job...for a good reason. You have wonderful explanations why you can't
find work (your age, the economy, etc) but how about it being that you don't
need it?
I won't stop caring for you if you
do not heed my advice, but there is no sense wasting time giving profound
spiritual teachings, making small talk or giving advice that is not
valued. Your problem is no mystery. And the solution is no mystery. My suggestions are just generic advice that
will work for anyone and everyone. They
are scripturally sanctioned. There is
nothing personal in them and I have nothing invested in whether or not you take
them. They are good for you and will
make your life better. If you don't
like the fact that you have to let go of something to get something greater,
then you deserve your suffering.
I know this sounds unpleasant but
you have not yet hit bottom and are not really serious about sorting yourself
out... although the handwriting is on the wall. So, if you won't cut back, then the best
thing is for you to crash. Sometimes
people are so stubborn they need a big disaster to wake them up. I hope you're smart enough to heed this
warning before that happens. Some years
ago the Lord sent a young gay man to me.
He was quite confused and quite unhappy.
And I could see that his problem was that he was not actually
homosexual. After a failed love affair
with a woman, he got the idea in his head that maybe he was gay. But he was actually heterosexual. I told him this and suggested that he give up
the lifestyle, not only because it wasn't right for him but because it was
dangerous. He didn't listen. About ten years later I was sitting in a
restaurant in
It was very nice that he had finally
attained peace, but at what cost? Had he
taken my advice he'd have found peace and had a nice long life to enjoy it.
Please don't take this as an
attack. Think of it as tough love. You need to listen to someone who will tell
you the truth. You are simply too
self-indulgent. You are a typical greedy
American. You think the solution to
everything is more, more, more. More
money, more work, more exciting pleasing activities... whatever. Please take this to heart and get to work
simplifying your life. The mantra you
need is "Less is more." Chant
it daily. It means less ego driven
activities equals more peace of mind.
Peace of mind is what you need.
You will not get it through money or any other worldly way. You get it by getting rid of the things that
are disturbing you.
Dear Ram,
Thank you for the letter. Actually, that is one of the most on target
letters that you have sent to me in a long time. I agree with at least 95% of it. You are
correct when you say that I want too much of the material world. Actually, I have gotten worse about this in
the past few months than I have ever been.
Probably about 35% of my debt is due to my getting things that I did not
just have to have....
Who is the wanter?
Ram:
I'm glad you basically agreed with my analysis of your situation. Let me
just add a little more to it. I made
the statement that you were 'greedy for experience' and I would like to talk a little
bit about this.
I think that you haven't been
critical in your thinking about want.
You probably picked up your views when you were very young. People who have reasonably strong
materialistic inclinations invariably believe that what they want is what they
need. They feel a sense of lack and a
picture of something that will remove that feeling (a vacation, a love affair,
a better job, a new car...literally anything) comes
into the mind. Without thinking through
the whole process of materializing the object, they assume the object will
erase the sense of lack. So they set out
to get it one way or another. If they
are spiritually inclined they may pray for it, or do a ritual meant to manifest
it. Most ritualism is about getting
wanted objects, as is the idea of 'materializing' things and situations popular
in New Age culture. There is nothing
'wrong' with wanting things, but if you think through the process of getting
and enjoying and keeping things you will see that it creates problems of its own...and
only temporarily solves the 'lack' problem.
If you obtained something and you never wanted that or anything else
again, it would be intelligent to pursue that thing. But this never happens.
When you start to mature you find
yourself questioning the wanter. You should have realized that for all the
wanting and all the getting there is a serious limitation in the idea that
getting what you want will solve the existential problem...unless you want the
understanding that you are whole and complete, not a needy wanting
creature.
Who is it that wants all these
things? Why is this person feeling
incomplete? These are reasonable and
natural questions one needs to ask.
Because at the end of the day, no matter what you get, the wanting
persists... and wanting hurts. And
really, from a spiritual perspective, a wanting person is an ugly person. Excess desire contorts and constipates the
personality. I am reminded of the lyrics
of a Frank Zappa tune. "What is the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose. Some say your toes. I say it's your mind...your mind...your
mind.
In some people this sense of wanting
is more or less non-specific. There is a
great unquestioned sense of lack that causes them to become 'experience
hungry.' They just cannot sit
still. Life is seen as a jam-packed
unending series of activities. Not doing
anything to get what one wants is considered wasting time. They often feel excessively virtuous because
they work so hard. This usually starts
in childhood. Kids are often so happy at
just being alive and having fun being in the world and learning about the world
that they refuse to sleep. They don't
want to miss out on any experience. Even
when there is really nothing to do or doing a doing will not produce beneficial
results experience-hungry people continue to generate experience through their
actions. This kind of person never goes
to sleep at night without contemplating the next days (long) list of
activities.
One problem with the doing idea is
that there is always a limit on experience, the most obvious being that one day
you are going to stop experiencing altogether. Be that as it may, you can only
experience so much because the human organism is quite limited. And more experience creates relatively more
experience, but it also creates more craving for experience, so along with a
sense of accomplishment and satisfaction one continues to experience
dissatisfaction in proportion to the degree of one's want-inspired doings. Another problem is that the wanter is not in control of experience and the results of
experience. So, much of one's experience
is negative, (one gets what one doesn't want) and this generates the desire to
avoid certain experiences. So getting
what one doesn't want adds to one's sense of lack too.
One fact about wanting that is
generally ignored is that wanting is painful.
When you say you want something you are just saying that you don't enjoy
not having something that your mind imagines will make you happy. It may have nothing to do with your actual
physical situation. You may be in the
peak of health sitting in the lap of luxury and feel absolutely rotten because
you have been unable to obtain something you want. In Western societies this aspect of desire
has been completely swept under the carpet for obvious reasons; it is bad for
business. Wanting is presented as very
desirable and intelligent and one is taken into the fantasy of the object so
quickly, in advertising for example, that one never has time to question the
want at all.
It is probably unreasonable to
expect the wanter to disappear altogether. It seems
that wanting is the bedrock condition of the individual self that we think we
are. So, except in exceptional people,
people who have seen through the whole wanting state of mind and abandoned it
for life in the present, most people need to learn how to manage their
desires. The philosophy of karma yoga,
which is the foundation of all Vedic spiritual practice, evolved in response to
this question of desire. It is a
conscious practice, a change of attitude based on a clear knowledge of how
karma and desire work, that will purge the unconscious of unnecessary
experience and the craving for experience.
If you want to know more about it you should read my Chapter 3.
An experience-happy person afflicted
with excessive desire can make an interesting adjustment that will make life a
lot more enjoyable. Since they are
incapable of giving up wanting, they can learn to want things that will solve
rather than exacerbate their sense of existential frustration. For example, if you understood the value of
peace of mind and pursued a lifestyle that produced peace, you would find that
your need for money would decrease...along with the concomitant worry. You would learn to desire and value
'downtime' and leisure, not as an interlude between frantic bursts of activity,
but because it allowed the body and mind to rest and heal. Desire is not a healing energy. It is not life affirming, contrary to the
romantic and commercial notion currently in vogue. You could learn to value people for who they
are rather than as vehicles for the attainment of your desires. You could take up activities, like walking,
that improved your health and reduced trips to the doctor...which costs a lot
of money...which in turn you have to work hard to get. Once you have understood how inherently
frustrating wanting is, you could actually start
wanting not to want and slowly dismantle the superstructure of thought and
feeling that keeps you running frantically after this and that.
Wanting and not wanting, desire and
fear, takes a lot of energy. If you're
gross and don't value the mind you will ignore the fact that not only are you
physically tired, you are mentally and emotionally exhausted. Like an angry caged animal the mind that
moves incessantly between its likes and dislikes wastes a lot of energy. One thing you notice when you begin to reduce
your desires, is an increase in energy.
When you meditate, holding the mind on the silence, your batteries are
quickly charged. Even if you let the
mind run but do not identify with it, it becomes efficient and makes more
energy available.
Drop Out and Go to
Linda: No, I don't really rest while
awake. I don't sleep well either. I must stop or else I'll be even sicker than
I feel already. I am doing things to try
to accomplish this. One of the things I
want more than any other is to be in
Ram:
Well, the idea is good. But it
won't work unless you have looked at the reason why you are so full of desire,
why you are in such a hurry, why you are a compulsive doer. You mentioned that you even wanted to reduce
your debts faster. Of course this is a
good idea but, given your penchant for overwork, it will just make matters
worse. If you had thought about the
consequences of your actions before you performed them, you wouldn't have
bought those useless things and you wouldn't be worrying about paying them off
now. So what has to happen is that you
have to put some kind of check on yourself.
The way to do it is to think things through beforehand and see where you
are likely to end up if you follow a certain course of action. Instead of just mindlessly giving in to your
desires, you need to think about what you can actually reasonably expect to
gain and what the cost is. If the likely
result is that you will be more secure and peaceful, then
do the action. There are no free lunches here.
Everything has a price. Excess
activity and desire wears out the body and mind. This is just a fact. There is no way around
it. So if you come to
So
Yours was a very good letter, very
truthful. I think you do understand. You
have been suffering at your own hands for a long time. Actually you're just a rebel. You're not rebelling against anything out of
a noble principle, you're just rebelling.
It's what I call a contrary nature.
There's a great Beatles song that says, "You say yes, I say
no. You say goodbye. I say
hello..." It's something that comes
from childhood. Mom says, "Wash
your hands" and the kid says, "No." There is nothing to it at all. Just pushing against the
grain. I was like this until I
was twenty six. Then I hit bottom and my
personality shattered. And I realized
that I was just reacting against nothing but my own perversity.
Linda: I think I am just in a state of frustration
and it is as though I am fighting back at the world in general.
Ram: Yes, you are frustrated. The frustration is the symptom of the war
that is going on in yourself, the war between the 'spiritual' part and the
wanting material part. It all comes back
to your self knowledge. Ultimately, to
get rid of this conflict you need to see that you are not an incomplete, needy
person. God did not make you this
way. You are 'cast in the image of
God'... meaning whole and complete. The
'world' made you this way. But it does
no good to fight against the world because (1) the 'world' isn't anything
substantial. It is just a frame of mind,
a bunch of irrational, incorrect beliefs and opinions that you unwittingly
imbibed bit by bit over a long period and (2) as an adult you have to take responsibility
for whatever you are carrying with you, even if it was something you did not
ask for. Getting mad doesn't do a lot of good unless that anger is channeled
into some constructive program to clean 'the world' out of your mind. It is much better to understand where you
went wrong and begin to see things differently and then set out to live the
right kind of life. For me
Every minute of the day you have the
power to choose between what is right and what is easy. Easy means just running off
some old pattern. Right means
what will lead you to a quiet peaceful mind, a mind that you will like. But to
make the right choice you need to be clear about what your
are doing here on earth. Are you
here to get what you want or are you here to enjoy this divine life? There is a saying in the Course in Miracles,
"From what you want, God won't save you." More often than not when I quote it, I get a
look of complete incomprehension, sometimes anger, from the person to whom I am
speaking. The idea that mindlessly
pursuing one's desires may not be all that healthy seems completely
revolutionary. The ego hates it.
There is nothing wrong with your
desires actually. Some are quite healthy and will lead to God. But some aren't. So, just because you want something does not
mean, ipso facto, that you should have or not have it. You need to look at each one that comes up
and think it through. What is the likely
outcome? Do I really need it? Can I do without it? I've got my mind pretty much where I want it
now because I've been working on it for over thirty years. And I can actually override it at will
without it causing a big fuss because it has come to understand in its limited
way that doing without many of its petty wants is actually empowering.
Sure, it's hard work. Sure, nobody is going to understand what
you're doing, particularly in
Anyway, I've run out of steam on
this idea for now. I'm glad that you
have taken to heart what I've said. Keep
thinking about it. This is the issue
that is begging for your attention. If
you don't face it and allow that needy greedy person to continue to run the
show...well, there is no sense going on about it. It is just not an option.
Relationships and Shiva's Penis
Linda: In response to the letter to your friend with
a potential relationship: I think that relationships are very important to
spiritual growth. Until we have learned
how to relate to others, we can not truly relate to Self.
That is one of the main reasons we are here on this earth, in this Maya.
Ram:
I'm not sure I agree with you that relationships are important to
spiritual growth. My view is that
everything helps one grow, the presence or absence of relationships
included...if you see life as a learning or growing
process. If not, not. I think it is much more important how one
conducts oneself in and out of relationship, than whether one has them or
not. You see a lot of people who are in
relationships who aren't growing at all.
And probably most relationships are as much about insuring emotional
security as they are about growth. As
long as someone believes he or she needs someone else to feel secure, how
likely is it that they will rely for security on the Self? Furthermore, you see many out of relationship
who have a strong connection with the Self.
And you see those who don't.
I used to be into 'relationships'
but over the years I have come to the conclusion that the very idea of
'relationship' is spiritually detrimental.
Why? Because 'relationship' as it
developed in
Whenever you find someone interested
in a relationship you have the issue of commitment. I can't see that if there is a genuine love
between two people the issue of commitment would arise, married or not, in
sex/love or not, because love is superior to commitment. So to me the whole idea of commitment is
bogus. If you know who you are you don't
have spare commitment anyway because you are committed to Truth. Commitment to Truth takes care of every
relationship. If you're in one or out of one you see the 'other' as none other
than your Self and therefore there is automatic love and respect...and no need
for commitment.
Linda: My other thought is that too many people who
decide to be celibate and spiritual are following the teachings of the
religious gurus and family expectations, etc. instead of reaching the place
where that is the next step in their personal evolution. One can do the expected, go to the top of
the mountain and sit in bliss all of
their life, but will not have learned the many lessons and cleared the samskaras
they came into life to take care of.
Ram:
This doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
If someone attains spiritual bliss, the idea of clearing samskaras and
learning lessons in life isn't an issue.
Spiritual bliss, if by that you mean Self Knowledge, is the lesson of
life. People search the Self for many
reasons, but the main reason is that they are suffering in some way. I think it's the same with celibacy. People practice it because it feels good
and/or it saves one dealing the ever-present downside of sex; attachment,
etc. Furthermore, who do you know that
has cleared their samskaras? It seems to me the only reason one would do this
kind of work would be to get the kind of mind that would allow one to see that,
as the Self, one is actually free of everything in this life, including
growing, healing, learning, etc. At what
point do you give up this mad desire to change, to be pure, to be happy, to
have relationship, etc? At what point do
you take yourself as you are and let yourself be?
Linda: They think they will be so pure that they can
end the cycle of samsara when they are only putting it off for another
lifetime. So, it is not really that odd
that at some point while sitting on that mountain top, the idea that there may
be something else for them to do presents itself in one form or another. Is it a step backward, to explore what that
is about and determine ones own need to participate? I think not.
Ram:
I think not too. But just because you decide to explore relationship or
sexuality or whatever, does not mean that you will come to the conclusions that
allow you to lay it to rest once and for all.
After all, if someone attained spiritual bliss and then went off in
search of something else that was supposed to take them off the cycle of births
and deaths, why would they have the sense to understand the real meaning of
relationship...which is that you don't need relationships to be happy? I think you're forgetting that the purpose of
spiritual life is happiness in this life in this body. If you have that, then what's to do,
spiritually or otherwise? If you don't, nothing you are going to do, including
relationship is going to give it to you.
If there were an activity or object in the world that could deliver
happiness, it would have done so by now.
There is nothing you can do here or obtain here that will solve the
existential riddle, except understand who you are. And this is something that comes independently
of the physical details of one's life.
Linda: Too bad that we teach them to feel guilt over
even considering leaving the mountain top instead of allowing it and welcoming
them "back" when they are truly ready to be there.
Ram:
Well, I'm not with you on this one either, Linda. I don't see that there is any 'back.' Either you understand why you were on the
mountain or you don't. There is no alternative.
The same with worldly life: either you understand what it is all about,
its limitations, or you don't. If 'back'
means that you take up an idea that you had formerly rejected, then there is
always the problem of why you didn't figure it out when you were on the
mountain top. There is a woman here
right now who is a good example of what I'm saying. She was with Amachi
for twelve years, celibate and all that.
Last year she decided to leave the ashram and felt she need a
relationship (as always for her 'spiritual'growth)
and she fell in love with my friend. Well, the long and the short of it is that
the 'relationship' didn't work and now she's sitting at Ramanashram
eight hours a day, "in bliss."
What is wrong with this picture?
So whether she has spiritual bliss or a relationship she is confused,
doesn't understand the value of either.
I've noticed that most people don't really get
into what they're into. They never test
their limits or the limits of the idea they're following, so they never really
break through into the level of transcendent understanding. They bounce around all over the place, always
trying to figure out what to do next, looking for a way out of their present
predicament instead of seeing that it is not here on earth that they are
seeking. So they may end up like my
father who, on his deathbed, left these words of wisdom. "Well son, if I
have to sum it all up, I'd say this: "Too soon old, too late
smart." I don't see it as smart to
just pursue things in this very ephemeral life, believing that some
"learning' or 'growing' experience is essential for your enlightenment. I
think its smart to write life off altogether and look
at oneself to see if there isn't some way to see oneself that allows one to
accommodate whatever is in front of one experientially.
Linda: As for myself, I enjoy giving my love, my
sexual love, to another so much that I, in no way, want to spend my life
without that opportunity at hand.
Ram:
That's fine, I suppose, but isn't this a bit like fiddling while
Linda: I can envision myself as Shivaji’s
consort, sitting on his thighs, penetrated by his penis in a state of constant
bliss - as a
Buddhist described his vision of
Ram:
I have been around for a long time and have met some very amazing people
over the years and I think you rank up there with the best of them. This is not a criticism; it is inspired by a
sense of wonder.
Much love,
Ram