Dear Ram!

I don’t like your definition of God. My God is All That Is and MORE. My nickname for God is More

Ram: You seem to have been in a good mood when you wrote this. I’m not exactly sure how to take it but I’ll take it at face value and say that my knowledge of God makes me question this statement because the idea of “more” depends on something other than ‘more,’ that is - less. If God is everything that exists and nothing exists except God then what is God more than?

Thomas: Yes, I agree: the thought forms of separateness from God are endless, tricky, cunning and compelling. The bottom line for me: there is no separation but there is differentiation which is real and not an illusion. I think to call it illusion is an insult to God (so to speak).

Ram: I don’t have a problem with this, except the word ‘cunning’ which seems a tad dramatic.

Thomas: I am in full agreement with you: nothing exists that is separate or other than God...nevertheless, there are infinite differentiated beings pressed out of God and I see this as a fact, albeit, in this physical reality a relative fact- certainly not an illusion and therefore not to be discounted in favor of some ethereal realm that is reached through a disciplined mind which is disassociated from its body.

Ram: I’m basically with you on this. I wouldn’t call differentiated reality an illusion either. It is just undifferentiated God apparently differentiated. But I would call it finite. The reason it is important to know that it is finite, constantly changing, is to save one the trouble of investing it with lasting meaning. It cannot supply lasting meaning because it is not lasting - eventually it will cease to be what it seems to be and this will cause disillusionment - to the degree that one had expectations of permanence of it.

I’m not for trying to disassociate the mind from the body through so called ‘spiritual’ practices because it is naturally disassociated. If it is naturally disassociated the discovery of this fact through inquiry and self-study might be useful since the confusion of the body with the mind and vice versa is the source of a lot of suffering. Ironically, the mind permeates the body too. Their relationship is something God thought out a long time ago to help us evolve, so one needs to understand in what ways the mind and the body can and do work together.

I can’t see that reaching an ethereal plane like Heaven through actions in this world is going to bear lasting fruit even if such realms exist and are reachable. Presumably one would want to reach such places because they offered more meaning than the psychological place one presently occupies. Why attempt go to some questionable destination when all the meaning one can stand is available right here now in the form of God, one’s innermost Self? Furthermore, anything that is reachable is also unreachable, meaning the experience of it is subject to change. Or even if one were to reach such a wonderful place one would eventually tire of it and seek for some other place that one felt would deliver more or better or different happiness. This is so because the one who is reaching, the ego, is always dissatisfied, no matter how good life is. Marion Jones achieved what no woman has ever achieved, three gold medals, yet she felt let down because she didn’t win five. When you’re trying to make yourself happy through achievement, you get caught in a seemingly endless cycle of activity, elation and disappointment…and the mind never comes to rest.

God, however, can only be ‘reached’ though understanding backed by devotion, because you have already ‘reached’ it - in so far as It is (the real) ‘you.’ When you see that you are what you’re reaching for, the ego, the reacher, and the restless mind, its constant companion, packs it in and start enjoying...free of the compulsion to act. Society and religion, for reasons of their own, however, are not happy with happy actionless people, so they condition us to believe that the only way to happiness is through achievement, religious or otherwise, and/or the possession of certain objects or experiences. Notice how virtuous you feel when you accomplish something. In fact everything is already accomplished. This does not keep one from work, however, but allows one’s motivation to shift from the result to the work itself. The Bhagavad Gita says, “You have right to the action but none to the fruit of the action.” This is so because what comes to us comes to us only through God.

Thomas: No, I am a vehicle for God AND I am God-like. God is always more than me. If I forget this, I lose my entryway to feelings of humility and healthy shame and open the door to messianciness, grandiosity and omnipotence: deadly mental disorders to be sure. Fame and fortune, glamour and glitz are directly tied to these disorders...hence, "it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, etc.”

Ram: “lose my entryway to feelings of humility, etc” means that you often feel grandiose, etc.? What makes you feel this way? Are you extremely successful in your field? Are you exceptionally popular? Very rich? If so such feelings are quite natural in terms of generally accepted values. But if you’re more or less a regular guy with his share of difficulties and problems I’d bet that your self-concept is causing these feelings. I believe that the belief in separateness and inadequacy spawns these feelings and until that root belief is questioned and dismissed the feelings will continue to arise no matter how much one wants to be humble and shamefully healthy.

Thomas: Ah Ha! This is a big difference between you and me: I see that there is a difference between me and God (no separation but a difference)...you don't seem to see this. I feel I am a unique expression of God that has a differentiated, individualized existence unlike anything else that exists as God. This awareness is for me not just a Vedantic head trip but a full-bodied knowingness (IQ + EQ).

Ram: I like your distinction between separation and difference. I can accept that. And I can’t argue with the rest of it either. Nor can I get you to understand what I mean when I say I am not separate OR different from God. It is something that happens to some people at a certain time. If you’ve never been in love I would be hard pressed to get you to understand what love was.

If you will give me a definition of God then maybe we can pursue this idea further. For me God is Consciousness, Awareness, that because of which what is, is. This Awareness is not contaminated by the things in it. It is not great and wonderful because a human mind worships it or because it is the totality of existence, nor is it small and insignificant because it is associated with the minutest forms in the cosmos. So there is no question of grandiosity or humility as far as it is concerned. It is also not what human beings think of as our awareness, that is, the things we are aware of. Your statement above “this awareness is for me” is not the same awareness I am calling God. It is awareness without a ‘this’ and without a limited ‘me.’ For example, if I subtract the thoughts and feelings in my awareness I’m left with pure Awareness. Not awareness OF anything, or a particular type of awareness just pure panoramic Awareness. Everyone is Awareness but most personify it…like religion does…make It into a ‘Him’ and project it outside themselves. Or they don’t understand It’s value because the focus is on the contents in Awareness, the experiences and thoughts and emotions that arise out of It and continually roil Its. These manifestations are Awareness too because like the wave they share the same nature, H20, with the ocean. The problem with taking oneself to be only the experiencing ego, the guy on your driver’s license, (which is just a very subtle wave in Awareness) and the experiences in it, is that you never find peace, or if you do it is conditional – it depends on changing conditions and not on you. When you realize “I am Awareness” you are free of all Awareness’ manifestations.

This Awareness is synonymous with life, love, being, existence, God. When I say ‘I’ I’m referring to myself as Awareness in these discussions although, for the sake of efficiency in real life I pretend that I’m just another ego and use the word “I’ to denote it. The problem you have understanding me is that you are assuming that I’m a person with problems and feelings and unresolved emotional issues, etc. It is natural to think like that unless you have experienced yourself as formless actionless Awareness unencumbered by experiences, memories, feelings, ideas, etc. However, I know what you mean when you say “I” because at one time I believed I was that kind of an ‘I.’

I’m sure you will have something to say about this so I will sign off and wait for your reply before I write any more. I trust you are well and that your financial situation is improving.

Ram