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We Cannot Fix You
Sundari: Hello, Dora. You have been writing to Ramji for a couple of years now, Ram and I and all of ShiningWorld endorsee writers have given you as much assistance with your inquiry as we can. We cannot say more to you than we have already said and we cannot do the work of cleaning up Dora’s subconscious for her.
A sadhana is a disciplined and dedicated approach to self-inquiry; it must be the most important thing to you. It requires not only exposing the mind on a constant basis to the scripture but the practice of knowledge. This means that Dora in her daily life observes her mind dispassionately on a moment-to-moment basis and discriminates the self from the not-self, with the karma yoga attitude. It is not about perfecting the person, it is about being free of the person. Knowing about the self is not moksa. First and foremost one has to face who and what the jiva is, and what the world is, how Isvara operates.
Karma yoga means not only that you know that as the jiva, or Dora, the results of your actions are not up to you. It means consecrating every thought, word and action on a moment-to-moment basis to Isvara. It is a prayer of devotion to you, the self. This is bhakti. And then, with absolute trust, one takes whatever results that do come as prasad.
With love and all due respect to you, as I mean no offence, Dora’s mind is a mess; it is agitated and fragmented. This is not a mind that can conduct self- inquiry.
So, Dora, what is it that is so agitating the mind? I see no sign of the ability to discriminate and no dispassion; you are totally identified with Dora. Other than the fact that you seem to have mumuksutva, it would appear to me that you are not qualified for self-inquiry. Vedanta cannot help you fix Dora because it does not see her as broken. It sees you as whole and complete, non-dual, unlimited, always present and unchanging.
This is why the qualifications are so important. You appear to be lacking in many of them, so the foundation for self-inquiry is not there. Vedanta will not work for you unless you develop the qualifications, which means two things.
One, Dora has not integrated and assimilated her life experiences. In other words, Dora has psychological problems because she does not understand what makes up “her” conditioning and is not clear about her values. Her mind is scrambled and all over the place, totally run by rajas and tamas. Just reading your email, one is immediately impacted by the rajas, the extroverted, frantic mind – and right along with it, the dull, frightened tamasic mind. It is no wonder Dora has control issues! She is totally under the influence of these two forces, and they run her mind. She is like a puppet dancing to their tune.
Two, there are big lifestyle issues at play. What do you do for a living, diet, how do you handle money, relationships, sex, entertainment, where you live, etc? If you are not living right and following a dharmic lifestyle, self-inquiry will not work for you. If you want to continue with self-inquiry, you will have to adjust your lifestyle and aim for peace of mind, sattva. We have all given you feedback on this issue and you have tons of material at your disposal through James’ book, the website and the document I sent you on what the gunas are and how to manage them.
Vedanta is for mature seekers, people who have assimilated and understood their life experiences, who know that there is no value in objects and have a strong desire to end existential suffering. This means that they very much want to be free of the “doer,” the person with a name and a story. They dedicate themselves to purifying the mind by practicing all the yogas: karma yoga, triguna vibhava yoga, bhakti and most importantly of course jnana yoga.
Vedanta cannot and is not meant to resolve Dora’s psychological problems. If you cannot grasp the teaching on the gunas and how the macrocosmic mind functions, then I would advise that you find a good therapist who can help you unravel where the problem lies.
It is pointless for all of us to keep writing to you unless you sort this out first, Dora. We cannot keep saying the same things over and over to you. It is not our job to fix Dora; she needs to understand her own psychology first before she can assimilate the knowledge that she is perfect and does not need fixing. First you need to understand what the problem is, then you can negate it as not you, awareness.
You are going around in circles; self-knowledge is not sticking in the mind. It is not that we don’t want to help you, we have done all we can to help you and it is not possible. Dora needs to address what her conditioning is, what her values are based on and what lifestyle issues are preventing her from purifying her mind and making sattva her goal.
We had a similar situation with another seeker recently; this person has been an inquirer for several years and like you she desperately wants to be free of her suffering. She is drowning in the vomit of the mind but she is unable to see where the problem lies. She has not addressed her psychological issues and stubbornly refuses to clean up her act by living right and choosing a sattvic lifestyle. She comes to us for help but everything we tell her she has a “yeah, but” for to justify her position. Like you, we cannot help her any more than we have unless she does the work first.
So it is up to you, Dora.
I send you much love and peace. I pray that you find the way to resolving the apparent agitation that you are experiencing, so that self-inquiry can take place effectively and self-knowledge do the work of removing the ignorance of your true nature for you.
~ Om and prem, Sundari
Dora: Hi, Sundari, you made very clear to me that what I am trying to do will not equal freedom. I get that now. You said, and very well, that, “Dora the person is superimposing self-realisation onto the jiva, Dora, the ego trying to experience the self. This is called superimposing satya on mithya (the real on the apparently real), which does not work. This is a very common trap for seekers and one the ego will attempt as a default, so that it does not need to challenge its good opinion of itself or change its behaviour.” I totally get it.
But, Sundari, when you say that I have to do the work, what do you mean? I don’t know what to “do.” I mean I have been reading James’ book every day. I listen to his satsangs and talks every day. What else do you recommend?
When you ask about sadhana, what do you mean? Paul and James have told me many times to practise “karma yoga.”
When you say that I should track which “I” speaks when I speak, I don’t really know what to say because I now know that I am always speaking as Dora, as the ego. But I know that Dora knows that there is something else. But Dora can’t lose control!! Dora doesn’t know how to lose control. I have to predict everything.
Sundari, I am sorry for all this. I think I have too much going on!! I’ve read James’ book but I dont think I have assimilated well the teaching. I am going to ready it again very slowly.
I am very, very confused about the gunas!!, the energies!! It’s like I thought I was in control of them… but I start to think now that they control me!!!!!! and I have always Dora’s likes and dislikes in the background. I am always projecting as well. Actually, from the moment I wake up in the morning to the moment I go to bed at night I am always projecting situations in my head. It’s like I never stop and think!! or appreciate the moment! I am always in my “head”!!!!!!!
I am not expecting an answer, Sundari, so don’t worry if you don’t have time to answer. It’s okay. I am still very grateful. Thank you for everything.
~ All my love, Dora