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Worry When I Am Awareness
Gopal: Dear sir, thank you for your support.
In the past few weeks I have used the thoughts such as “I am brave/confident/limitless/fearless” to counter negative thoughts. I have found it useful as they attempt to cancel the knowledge “I am limited” which comes up during daily life situations. The words “brave, confident, powerful, strong,” etc., etc. have deep meanings (measurable) in my mind, so it makes sense that this knowledge would replace the existing knowledge (negative and measurable). This means I am what I think.
James: If you take yourself to be the mind then you are what you think.
Gopal: But from your words, whatever I may think I am, the Truth is that I am awareness.
Gopal: But I barely know anything about awareness. But I do understand that this “I am awareness” thought should somehow cancel the knowledge “I am the person” thought.
Gopal: So how does this knowledge become natural and permanent?
James: By repeated contemplation on the meaning of the thought. The thought itself has no power to cancel the person. Discovering the meaning of the thought cancels the person. Is it true that you are a person? If that person is known to you, you cannot be that person, just as you cannot be your body, since it is an object known to you.
Gopal: I try thoughts like “I am whole and complete, actionless awareness,” “I am awareness,” “I am whole and complete.”
James: There is no magic in the thoughts themselves, only in the meaning. What does it mean to be complete? What does it mean to be whole? Look at yourself and see if you can find anything missing. Look and see if you need anything other than awareness to be who you are. You have awareness. You are always aware. It never ends or begins. It is there when Gopal is asleep. It is you. Nothing is missing apart from the belief that something is missing.
Gopal: Could you suggest me some dos and don’ts that might help me see the efficacy of these suggestions much easily?
James: Dos and don’t don’t work, because no action can prove that you are awareness. You are awareness prior to every action. You exist as awareness during every action and you remain as awareness when an action and its results are gone.
Gopal: Because I want to stop WORRYING when I think “I am awareness” and instead by thinking I AM AWARENESS find relief in it and deep understanding of the same.
James: Why do you worry when you think “I am awareness”? That is the strangest thing I have ever heard. What is there to worry about? It is either true or not. If it is true you can stop worrying. If it is not true you can stop worrying. What do you think is going to happen that you should worry?
Gopal: Ending spiritual seeking is fine and understandable but the END OF SEEKING of everything else too I desire because when I find that I am tangled in daily duties, worries of life, ambitions that I could have, and thinking like a person and feeling like a person makes me SEEK it all once again. After studying your resources I know that the solution too somewhere lies in the thoughts you suggested. Maybe it is a matter of time and diligent practice.
James: You need karma yoga. They you will not get tangled in daily duties and the worry will stop and it will be easy to understand what I am awareness means.
~ With love, Gopal