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I Live without Breathing
Tony: Hi, James! Thanks for your last two emails, they’ve really helped. Also, thanks for the up-to-date “e-satsangs” page at your site. It makes for a nice “Frequently Asked Questions” page.
James: I’m glad you like them, Tony. I posted thirty-five more a couple of days ago.
Tony: Some new questions I wanted to send your way: Are you sure you’re done?
Tony: How do you know?
James: I don’t want anything. I have no fears. I am completely okay with whatever happens. I live without breathing.
Tony: How is the experience of LSD different from enlightenment?
James: Enlightenment is not an experience. It is the hard and fast knowledge “I am awareness” – assuming it cancels the doer and renders all the vasanas non-binding. LSD can open the door to the self in some people. But then so can a thousand things.
Tony: Practice is scary; it’s discombobulating and it’s like wandering into unknown territory. Obviously, this is the ego refusing to die, right?
James: I guess you could put it that way. You have nothing to lose by inquiry except ignorance. And you have a lot to gain – the whole world. It is a win-win. What’s scary about that? Don’t let it scare you, Tony. Man up! Kick that old ego in the pants!
Tony: Still, what practical advice do you have for this roadblock?
James: Think of what you have to gain, not what you have to lose. A negative mind gets nowhere. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can’t let fear run your life.
Tony: I could practice more if it were more comfortable.
James: It seems your desire for liberation is not very strong, Tony. The more uncomfortable it is, the closer you are getting to the root of the problem. No pain, no gain. When your suffering gets more intense, you will not think in terms of comfort. Your will be ready to do whatever it takes.
Tony: The sun in the sky shines everywhere. Why does a cloud obscure it?
James: There is no answer to the why. That is just the way it is. What is important is that you can get rid of the cloud by inquiry.
Tony: It looks like you’re heading to Denmark soon. When’s the next time you’ll be in Portland?
James: Mid-June, Lord willing.
Tony: I wish I could join you for two months in India, but can’t afford the trip. Perhaps some day.
James: Yes, you would love it, Tony. Save your money.
~ Much love, James