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Orgasm or Tantric Sex: Which Is More Spiritual?
James: Hi, Dan. Yes, everything is just fine. If it gets any better I do not know how I will stand it. I’m here for two more weeks and then I go to Europe. Check the website for my itinerary.
Dan: Things are well here. I finished the book again a little while back and don’t feel left with so many questions and confusion anymore. Thank you for all of that! I would like to see what you have to say about a couple of things though, if you would.
Increasingly in my sits, and with an establishing quality in daily life, I am in the “position” of one who knows nothing, who expects nothing, who wants or desires nothing, of one available only to be shown the truth and the truth of my nature. Immediately the observation and experience (body-mind remains active as witness) of an unbound Light, in a constant flow of expansion, moving through and outwards from a place more subtle than the witness here, and I know it is me, the self, the “activator” (just threw that in… valid description or would teachings provide another word?).
James: The difficulty here is the idea that the self is not you. It appears here as an object in your experiences, but it is actually the one who sees “the self.” See your orientation. You say it is you, but you experience it as an object. This is called indirect knowledge and will not set you free. In terms of this experience there is a third factor that you are not aware of: the self is that in which both Dan and the self are appearing.
Dan: I have been reflecting on the experience on the beach, where “the body vanished, and I observed a speck of (reflected) awareness moving down the beach,” and in a further inquiry of the event, the realization that when I next “experienced the whole visible (and unvisible) world as me” the speck was no longer contained in my perception.
The sight and realization is so clear, that the Light of self, of awareness, is passing through this “personality,” which is painting and experiencing that world of tainted, altered and imagined creation. As we remove (experience the removal of, until experiencer vanishes) the more subtle layers of the complex, we are removing what, in the terms of the language of the teachings? Maybe with the beach as a reference. Would you clarify?: vanishing body = ______?, mind = ______?, speck of awareness = ______?
James: See the same problem here. The self is appearing as an object. You are the one who sees the self. I think the best sadhana for you, Dan, is to just discriminate awareness from the experiences appearing in it. Don’t pay any attention to the experiences, just turn your attention back to the one to whom the experience is presenting itself and inquire into that. You cannot figure out who you are from an analysis of your spiritual experiences. At best the knowledge will be indirect.
A lot of people would give their eye teeth for the kind of spiritual experiences your mind generates, Dan, but I think they are confusing you. The real question is whether or not you are whole and complete as you are. This quest to understand what is happening is good, but the real issue is who wants to know and why. It doesn’t matter what you experience.
No matter what kind of experiences you have, you remain the same. I think the presupposition is that you are going to be different if you can just interpret what happens in meditation correctly. Who is this person that does not change? How can this “person” get what he already has?
Dan: On another front, da, da-da!, romantic intimacy! I recently made space from a connection in favor of my focus on this unfolding. When we return together, our proximity and embraces are still very charged with energy. I feel it begins with simply being present with an offering of pure, unstoried energy and it builds quickly between us, shifting into a rising “sexual” feeling energy. It’s pleasant and we seem to approach the edge of orgasm with only the energy “active.” The issue for me begins almost a soon as the “body-mind, performer/doer,” the “personality,” is engaged. I feel the drop of energy and a lack of interest in “being the one who” is participating in, pursuing of and obtaining the temporary satisfaction in the sexual “act.” The energy feels more truthful.
James: You are a good writer, a good observer, and I am happy that you have found love, but I do not understand the question. More truthful than what? What does it matter if you have an orgasm or if you keep from coming? Both are just states of mind and the results of both will not get you a leg-up on moksa. They are states of mind and not you.
Dan: I have, however, observed that at times of very concentrated and focused awareness, in the “act,” that this deep involvement in the smallest detail, with “all of my awareness,” has an intense, apparent effect on her experience.
James: I hope so. That’s what she’s there for. ☺
Dan: What does Vedanta have to say about this subject?
James: Vedanta has nothing to say about it at all, Dan. It is all in the realm of maya and as such is of no interest. If there is a problem at all, it is that sex, no matter how you do it, breeds attachment and extroverts the mind so that inquiry suffers.
Dan: Thanks again, and cheers!
James: You are welcome, Dan. Keep in touch.
~ Much love, James