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Thousands of Ego Deaths Here
Martha: Dearest Ramji, from “thousands of egos death” here.
Thank you so much for straightening me out. I thought I was “there” for a moment. Yesterday I was reading “separate yourself and objects.” I came across “I am the subject and the object, cause and effect, but I’m not affected by the effect.” A pause occurred. Then “though experience is me, I’m not the experience” and silence ensued. Again, I thought a shift took place. Today at work I continued with the “although (used this instead of though) thought, etc. is me, I am free of thought.” As I was sitting on the toilet, of all things, I began to laugh. Too bad I couldn’t really let it rip or I might rupture something! As a subject popped up I kept at it with the “although” …and more laughter. I really wanted to let it out. It’s a good thing I work alone and could enjoy thought pop up along with laughter. Not so much the understanding of why I was laughing, as it was automatic. It just came up. I finally got to really let it out at home!!!
A beautiful discovery of thought shifting to the back, more discreet.
In my visual experience, random and odd things are just as important to view, like rust on a fence, etc.
Am I on the right track now, Ramji?
Ram: Dear Martha, very nice to hear from you. I am glad you didn’t rupture anything. I am so happy to hear that the Vedanta is have such a positive impact on you. If you contemplate these teachings and can assimilate the meaning, they will have a very powerful effect. Yes, it seems you are on the right track. However, there is one statement you made that I would like to ask you about. You say, “I thought a shift took place.” What kind of shift do you mean? Could you describe it more carefully? It sounds from the laughter that you were identified with the self, which is what self-knowledge causes, and the self was having a good laugh that it had been confused about who it was for so long. But it is important for you to understand who was laughing and what the relationship between Martha and the laughter was. Why do you think these teachings caused you to laugh? About the shifts: they are definitely good, but try to tell me where you shifted to, what kind of shift it is and if you have shifted back. That would make my job easier.
~ Much love, Ramji
Martha: Hi again, Ramji. Sorry, I sent off that last email before finishing. To continue: self is enjoying the old thought patterns showing up and seemingly within seconds are released, as there is nothing there to identify with.
I love the growing confidence, the comfort of knowing all is perfectly fine with everything just the way it is. A purposeful moment-to-moment ease with no care of an outcome.
There is a naturalness now, as if self has been here all along and the memory of how Martha was previously is fading away.
There is a radiance and familiar interaction between others that is so comfortable now.
There will be challenges, but no more problems. Thought, known as Martha, wanted life to be according to her ideals. Life is just happening now with a new developing, sweeter, essence personality in the body of Martha. No blown-up ego who wants to demand others acknowledge it or for that matter that Martha have a certain type of experience.
I’m so grateful for Vedanta and being able to reveal this knowledge. I would love some feedback from the all-knowing Ramji!
~ Love, Martha
Ram: Hi, Martha. It is hard to make any comment except yes!, it seems you are right on track. These are the signs of someone in whom the knowledge is working. Take it easy and write if you hit a snag.
~ Much love, Ramji