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Is Sex the Gateway to Heaven – or Hell?
Edward: Ram, thanks for your affirmation of my understanding. It definitely helps my confidence.
You really embarrass me when you say, “If I wanted a guru, you would be it.” If you’d known me in person and seen the vast amount of impurity within this person, you wouldn’t say that. You have met people of the highest levels of enlightenment and purification, and you yourself are someone in that class. So please don’t say something like that. I think I’ve only just begun on a path which might reduce some of the impurities gradually. While my understanding may sound right, the mind needs to go a long way before it can actually act out of this understanding in situations where presently it is easily overcome by fear (and sometimes greed).
Ram: Purity is nice, but I value wisdom more because without wisdom you will not realize that you are beyond pure and impure. It was just a way of saying that I am impressed with the clarity of your thinking. It makes my job very easy. Many people are very muddled, and it takes forever for me to figure out what their doubts are.
Edward: I would like to hear your thoughts on the question about whether sex should be reduced to induce a dispassionate state of mind. While I do think it is enjoyable, I would like to know if it deters the progress of the mind to a state where it can constantly remain dispassionate. I do think it’s best for the mind to remain dispassionate, unless of course it’s a thing which requires a passionate response… which humans really no longer face on a day-to-day basis.
Ram: How old are you? How much sex do you have in a typical month? With whom? How much of your mental real estate does it occupy?
Edward: Regarding sex ☺: I am 25. If I and my girlfriend are at the same place (which we aren’t right now, but she’ll be visiting soon), it’s around four times a week, maybe. Sex doesn’t occupy a huge amount of my mental real estate and isn’t something that really bothers me as such. I wouldn’t have asked you this if it weren’t for me having read contrasting views about sex and spiritual progress, with some saying it’s actually a portal to “nirvana” and others saying it hinders spiritual progress and should be done strictly for procreation. I had never given it much thought until now, when I realized that beyond the first experience of “awakening,” for “spiritual progress” it’s important that the mind to be developed to a stage where it can act with dispassion. Of course I realize that as far as my true nature (the self) is concerned it doesn’t even matter, but as far as the mind is concerned, does it impede the mind’s ability to remain unagitated?
Ram: It sounds like you have a very healthy view about it. When it starts to agitate the mind, then you need to look at it. It is not how much sex you have, but the attitude with which you have sex.
Edward: I might have said this earlier – I really feel grateful to be able to have such communication with you. Thanks again.
Ram: It’s my pleasure.