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Trust Non-Attached People
Ram: Dear Lynn, I know that you have always been suspicious of me and what I have to say. In a way it is pointless for the object of someone’s suspicions to try to convince them to trust. But I ask you to trust what I have to say because sometimes you don’t think very clearly and this lack of clarity causes you to put yourself through more than you need to. So I offer what I offer, not because I get any ego satisfaction in seeing you take my advice, but just to make your path easier. It is quite amazing how things work when you trust the words of non-attached people. By “non-attached” I mean someone who is satisfied in himself or herself alone and who is therefore not pursuing an agenda. You don’t lose anything by taking my words on board and I don’t gain anything, therefore there is no need to be reluctant.
For example, when I got here and spoke with everyone in the family, I could see that there is a deep distrust between the family members, a generational thing, actually, that has made their lives quite unhappy. The way they opened up made me realize that they desperately wanted out of this situation. When I saw how intractable it was – everyone is so proud and has been denying/projecting for so long – I suggested the obvious – that they go their separate ways – that peace of mind was more valuable than the idea of family loyalty. About a week later one of Sally’s sisters, after thinking about it, quit her job and is going to New York. She will take the mother – who is the link with the sins of the past – and that will effectively rip the heart out of the problem. Yes, there are other problems that will need to be dealt with eventually by each person, but this will clear away the log jam. They were ready to hear the truth, and when they did it changed their lives.
But this wasn’t all. The biggest casualty of the family hatred was Sally’s seventeen-year-old daughter. She was very stressed, unhappy and having awful problems with her adoptive parents, one of Sally’s sisters. I spoke with her several times and one day when she mentioned that I was not a normal person I realized that she was seeing me, the self, not a projection. Two days ago she came over after school in an awful emotional state and suffering a stress-related eye infection. She could hardly see, her nose was running and she was just miserable. I felt much compassion for her because she is very good and yet she is the one suffering most from this conflict. I wasn’t sure what to do with her at first, because I didn’t want to get involved in this family dispute, to be seen as taking sides, so I kept my distance. I was friendly and polite and avoided making statements that she could misconstrue. But she kept trying to make contact and I saw that she was ready to hear the truth. She finally said, “Come on, James, what do you really think about me?” So I spoke. Within a few minutes the shakti got into her and I could see that she was taking every idea on board without a bunch of arguments. I went at it with great energy, basically giving her a crash course in Vedanta. It was music to her ears. She recontacted her true nature, the self, and became radiant and happy.
She came back yesterday and I overheard her talking with Sally, and she had made every change in her thinking that I had suggested, changes that would resolve her situation. Sally told me that she said James was sent to set her straight, that some great energy had come down, that James had cleared her mind and that she was seeing clearly for the first time in her life, that nobody had ever told her the truth, etc. I could tell by the natural and confident way she spoke that there was no doubt in her mind about the wisdom of seeing things in this new way. And she said that by the time she got home her eye was completely healed. Sure, she will face problems, but she will never be the same again. This was her awakening, within a year her karma will be straightened out and she will be able to pursue her heart’s desire. The point, which I’m sure you’ve got, is that the words of people like me can be trusted. The shakti lives in the words and when they are taken in wholeheartedly the changes happen automatically. In a sense the whole spiritual path boils down to getting oneself ready to hear the truth. When you are ready, it just floods in and everything is set straight.
Of course one will get there eventually no matter what, but the problem with staying within oneself and negotiating with oneself on every issue is that the transformational energy that comes with the truth never gets activated. The mind pisses away its power considering the pros and cons of every issue and when it’s time to actually make the right moves, there is no energy for it – so one just runs off old patterns and life becomes a monotonous series of repetitive behaviors. Even if the proud, egoic approach were sensible the ego is not the one to make decisions, because he or she is unduly influenced by his or her fears and desires and cannot therefore make disinterested choices. When you open up to the word you get yourself off the hot seat. You hear the truth, you take it in and it makes the changes. There is no deciding involved. All this dealing with issues, making decisions in the relative world, wears out the mind. And on top of it a responsible, obligated ego gets formed, one finds oneself feeling virtuous for being so concerned and caring and conscientious, but an important something is missed: that free, joyful feeling that distinguishes a truly spiritual life from the life of an ordinary person.
~ Love, Ram