Search & Read
There Is Only Service
Karin: Hello, dearest Ramji! I had a wild winter. I lost my dwelling, got very sick and it took two months to recover completely, but now I’m enjoying my life a lot. This period of upheaval revealed areas where the self-inquiry had not yet reached. I had great peace of mind before, but the traumas took away my peace of mind, and so I had to look at what that peace of mind was really made of, if it could go away so easily. So… onward, deeper, further, and it’s a challenging and beautiful thing.
Ramji: Lovely to finally hear from you! We think of you fondly and often and wondered what became of you. I see you got the lesson from your travails. I love these sentences: “This period of upheaval revealed areas where the self-inquiry had not yet reached. I had great peace of mind before, but the traumas took away my peace of mind, and so I had to look at what that peace of mind was really made of, if it could go away so easily. So… onward, deeper, further, and it’s a challenging and beautiful thing.”
It shows you are a true inquirer. I admire and respect you for it. There are always things we don’t know about ourselves. One should never trust happiness. It is a by-product of discrimination, not the goal.
Karin: I love what you say about happiness. James, my life doesn’t seem to be about that at all anymore. Happiness for Isvara seems to be more the “goal” than my own happiness. I found out how untrustworthy my own happiness was, as you aptly point out. Whatever is left of me seems to want to serve others in need. It’s energizing – but for me? No, it seems to just be energizing so that I can serve some more! Helping out Isvara’s creations, trying to ease the suffering a little. It sounds a little prideful when I write it like this, but I think you know what I mean.
Ramji: It isn’t prideful, Karin. Service to Isvara is the only conclusion one comes to when one understands the truth. There is no you, no me. There is just us. We are all only the self looking after itself.
Karin: Thank you for validating this for me, James. “The only conclusion” – yes, that is how it feels, perfectly. And it was not a conclusion that I arrived at myself – I wasn’t in control of this complete turnover that happened to my life, which is what led me to this conclusion, ultimately.
The word “service” used to make me want to run and hide. Something about the upheaval just busted me wide open and got rid of those last remnants of clinging personality. But of course when the self was looking after itself in the form of Karin, that is what was needed. Now it’s the self looking after itself as others. Same thing! But it’s sure nice to be over the navel-gazing phase, I have to say. ☺
I love you!
James: The inexorable logic of existence – Isvara – concludes for us before we conclude. There is no separate self, only the appearance of one. Service is just cheerfully responding appropriately to what existence presents. There is no navel to gaze at.