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Pierre: That is the greatest dependency I have with identification with an apparent identity Pierre. The notion I subscribe to is cause and effect. The desire I have is to cause a positive effect in the world through the identity Pierre. I don’t know how else an effect might be caused.
Daniel: You cause a positive effect in the world not by doing but rather by understanding. When you understand your true nature, plus the mechanics that govern the apparent reality, then the person/jiva naturally aligns its actions in harmony with what reality (the situation) demands. Understanding one’s true nature is the ultimate service to others and, more importantly, to oneself.
There is a difference between doing good (appropriate action) and being burdened by a sense of “do-goodism.”
Like all dharmic desire, do-goodism is not bad as long as it does not hamper your inquiry. And thank Isvara that this world has people like you walking around! But if this desire is causing your mind to be agitated, which it clearly is, then it’s not serving your self-inquiry, an inquirer’s number one (actually, only) priority.
Because it seems as if Pierre by nature is a “do-gooder,” then I suggest meeting this desire halfway. Continue to serve where and when you can but know your limits by analyzing the situation logically (not with emotions). Change strategy as soon as you feel the mind getting dull or overwhelmed when the situation is out of your control (which is the case more often than not). If your true desire is liberation, then a peaceful mind for self-inquiry should not be exchanged nor compromised for anything.
You can only do good if you are good, Pierre. To be a service to the world or to others starts by being good to and within oneself. There is nothing more loving than self-inquiry which really is just a science of self-love.
Here is another point: What good is doing good if you don’t actually feel good?
And here is another: until you understand the nature of reality (both from the viewpoints of satya and mithya), a sense of dullness will remain. Why? Because in this apparent reality where Pierre finds himself wanting to do good and is hoping for good results to unfold, “bad results” cannot be avoided. This apparent reality (mithya) is coloured in by the three energies: sattva, tamas and rajas. When tamas and rajas start dancing together we often experience results that are not pleasant. The apparent reality is a duality; there will always be good with bad and bad with good. Regardless of how much good you offer, the bad and the ugly will continue to arise.
We live in a non-personal and perfectly designed, self-equilibrating system, Pierre. This has always been and will continue to be the case. Everything perfectly unfolds according to the needs of the total (not according to Pierre’s ideas of what’s good and not good).
Everything is taken care of, including jiva Pierre. There’s that cheesy yet truthful bumper sticker “Let go, let God.” Buy one and stick it on! ☺
I will add another comment to your statement “that is the greatest dependency I have with identification with an apparent identity Pierre.” This sentence reveals that though you speak of Pierre as an object (which is a good start), you still think that you are Pierre. Pierre is talking about Pierre!
The problem would be solved if it was clear that you, awareness, is talking about Pierre. Because when you understand that you are awareness, you understand that you are free from Pierre, do-goodism, actions, results and identification altogether.
You, awareness, are totally unconcerned, unaffected and remain always free from what arises. This understanding is liberation, and it will only take place in a non-agitated mind, a mind free from wanting to change the world.
Pierre: I have mostly cleared my attachment to suffering with the last strand being connected to the apparent suffering of all life on earth. I have knowledge that somehow I can be part of the catalyst to change this worldwide. My test subject of theories that are processed is myself. In my heart I know that if I can’t live through the change I would like to see, then it’s not conceivable that anyone else would be interested.
Daniel: You are not going to change any world, Pierre. The only way to change the world is to change the way you see the world. When you understand that the world is perfect as it is, your world changes. If you are happy, the world is happy. When you smile at the world, the world smiles back.
Pierre: I have tested dropping my attachment with identification as Pierre and experienced many aspects of consciousness that had never been considered during this incarnation. One of the greatest I remember is noticing the sensation of emotional energy without the urge to describe it. It was a complicated process, coming from an uninitiated standpoint.
Daniel: Your attachment to Pierre will naturally be dropped as you apply the teachings of Vedanta. The teachings will slowly chip away at ignorance (misidentification as a limited entity) and reveal your true nature as limitless, actionless, effortless, ever-free awareness/consciousness.
Though I know what you mean, there are not many aspects of consciousness. Actually, there is only one consciousness, being, you, self-luminous, non-dual awareness.
This ordinary, ever-present awareness that knows Pierre reading these words right now is the very same ordinary awareness that noticed Pierre have his profound energy experiences. You are this very ordinary awareness.
Pierre: While I was in meditation questing for serenity of mind in order to process memories and assess what their corresponding creation was, I found awareness and Pierre-identification were apparently two separate layers.
Daniel: You are that awareness who watched Pierre in meditation. There are no layers to/for you, awareness. Only Pierre is projecting an idea of apparent layers/duality.
Pierre: Awareness is never attached to anything that Pierre is projecting, yet is fully interested in his involvement. Since I could conceptualize the two layers, I figured to conceptualize an in-between filter that observed what was imprinted on awareness right before it got there. In this fashion the transference between the object and awareness was noticed and many subtle tendencies became apparent.
Daniel: Correct, you, awareness, is never attached to anything, nor are you interested in anything either, because everything is you. Nothing is imprinted on you. Again, this idea is a result of misidentification to/as Pierre.
Pierre: Subtle tendencies like seeing how effects are instant because the mind casts reality to fit how to create cause. This casting is then how the world is interacted with, as everything is based on that presumption and predisposition. Seeing that pathway between presumption, predisposition and the world I interacted with over and over again made me wonder if the pathway could be altered.
Daniel: My previous comments apply here too.
Pierre: I contemplated altering the pathway for an extended moment (several days), coming in and out of it repeatedly from the same angle and multiple angles singularly/simultaneously. What I could tell is that there was a sacred nature in this pathway and there was some concern that a selfish tendency might arise while disguising itself as selfless. To consciously purify the object identified as Jason of any hidden tendency, I traced and retraced love awareness. This path was stepped over so many times that the urge to walk anywhere else was dissolved. Even after that I walked the path of love back and forth, forth and back.
Daniel: Purifying the mind is all there is to do. Once the mind is able to digest the teachings, the knowledge does the work.
Pierre: To shorten this up, I ended up finding a way to see memories I would have later, only to find out about a significant event that was foreseen at three years old. The foreseen event occurred. Free will initiated and followed all the way through. After the event, the ability to foresee was forgotten, yet the memories that were foreseen happened in the foreseen fashion. Timing and sequence of events has yet to be known beforehand but, after I go through a moment in the instance of now, I remember where I was when I foresaw the memory that was just experienced. Have you heard of anything like this, Daniel?
Daniel: There are many experiences such as this. But I would not focus on it too much. Here is a satsang that I once wrote called All Experiences Are the Same Size.
Pierre: The purpose of telling this much is twofold: (1) to introduce the idea into the collective consciousness if not already known about, (2) to note that the world and all earthly inhabitants still appear to be suffering in the same fashion after learning how to disconnect with Pierre-identity. If there’s nothing that can be done about that, I will still try. If there is something that can be done, then it is that the energy I contribute/awareness I hold does fashion the external environment. It does appear to me by a faint energy that before the event I went through (in one of the last series of foresight) that there was a point where the world shifted and a mutual paradise for all earth inhabitants was created.
Daniel: “If there is nothing that can be done about that, I will still try.” This is a stubborn attitude and will not serve you, Pierre, nor will the world change whether you do or don’t do. I hope that my previous comments have helped clarify the reason behind this response.
Pierre: Maybe this will unwind more as I delve into the book How to Attain Enlightenment.
Daniel: It sure will.
Pierre: Thanks for being present at this level, that I feel comfortable being open at this level.
Daniel: My pleasure. Write to me after you’ve completed James’ book.
~ Much love, Daniel
PS: Come back to your email subject line “non-doer.” Truly claim and understand this identity and everything will be resolved. ☺