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Confirmation Is Me
Carl: Thank you again for the teaching.
As I was trained as an artist when I was a small boy, it was taught that the field or space of the creativity was as important as the actual painting.
Realizing that the background, the space, is always there seems so simple yet it is also profound… but not really. There is more joy and happiness in that. A long cry and my heart opens. There is nothing to prove, no one to convince, no need of approval, just to do what I came here to do.
My life has always been about coming back to my self. Always.
And it was the adventuring into the objects: the pretty girls, the marriages, the money, the spending, the getting and losing, the running around the world searching, that caused the most pain, for the seeming joys and insights were so short-lived. They were just experiences.
That separateness always dissolved and I came back to the self… and it to me when I sat down to write and paint. And I was always Happy. There was no wanting, or desiring, because I was doing what I was supposed to be doing, although at the time I disbelieved it as the pretty objects captivated me.
I soon saw that I was the pretty objects and always had been. I projected the tendency to hold and keep for my very own the beauty of the girls, the sex, believing they were this and that. But it was already me.
I am the self, free to do my work, my art, my writing, and that in and of itself is the liberation, the freedom to be and to enjoy.
When there was no thought about the results of my works, everything flowed. I am that.
I knew it, but kept testing for certainty. I do not need to test it anymore. Thank you for your work.
I have always, since a small boy, been seeking for confirmation. Now it is me.
I could relate to your life story on so many levels… there is nowhere to go, just do what I came here to do.
I bow before the self. Om shanti Om.
James: Truth speaks through you and in you because you are the truth. I love you, Carl.