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Samsara Is a Bitter Pill
Ravi: Namaste, Ramji. I emailed you around three years ago with a whole lot of doubts regarding Vedanta. Thank you so much for your patience in dealing with my ignorance.
You may remember that I said that I wanted to renounce the world and go live in a cave; thankfully, that didn’t happen. Instead I’m now in Europe at university.
You were absolutely right when you said that I may have to suffer more due to my wrong notions before I start seeing things from the perspective of consciousness. Going to university for something I have no interest in just to please my parents and other people, friends who turned out to be enemies, as well as being in a relationship with a worldly person who has no interest in spirituality, has brought about incredible suffering and I now realise that no object (including this body and mind that is called “Ravi”) can bring complete happiness, because any attachment to the world or desire for objects brings suffering and that there is no solution to this problem in the material realm.
I did a lot of LSD when I came here, which taught me a lot, and I also had an experience of what I think may be samadhi after I tried DMT (the same stuff is in ayahuasca), where I felt that my ego was shattered into little bits and I felt myself trying desperately to cling to the little pieces floating around in my consciousness, but I couldn’t and I experienced a beautiful oneness with everything as well as a sense of bliss that I never knew was possible.
I’m still on the path, and I hope that one day all my doubts will fall away, thanks to your teachings. Thank you so much, Ramji, you are a wonderful teacher and your teachings have helped me through some incredible suffering. I am forever indebted to you for all the wisdom you’ve imparted.
James: I remember you well, Ravi. Thanks for writing. Appreciation is always appreciated. I’m glad that Vedanta has served you well. It is true that sometimes one has to go through various life experiences until one is ready to see things from the point of view of the self. You are lucky that you have had a taste of samsara and found it a bitter pill. It was the same with me. By the time I was twenty-six I was finished with it. It took a few more years till I discovered Vedanta, but I immediately recognized its value, it set me free and I have stuck with it to this day. If you have any questions, let me know. I think everything you need is at the website. Take care of yourself.
~ Om and prem, Ramji