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You Need a Teacher When You Think You Don’t
Suzie: Dear James, here is a little bit of my story. I won’t go on too long.
My life had been an emotional mess for a long time, living from one crisis to another. For instance, a couple of years ago I had a big crisis, my boyfriend dumped me and I felt like dying. Then I had a non-dual epiphany, feeling oneness with everything, connected with everybody, I was the all-seeing eye, the light and then it ended. I was back again to feeling miserable!
Then a friend sent me a YouTube link with a teaching from you and… boooom!!! Everything changed. I listened and listened and listened, no question, just listening. Very soon I fully trusted you and the teaching, and everything was logical and was getting more clear and clear to me. Yes, I’m awareness, pure limitless, unconcerned consciousness, I am the light and the witness of all and have always been and will always be. I’m not this little person in this crazy but funny movie, where the script has already written. But it’s okay, I can play my role further on, enjoy life and this beautiful planet – I just don’t take it to be the Reality.
I’m so grateful, I’m gratefulness, I’m love – I am pure awareness.
You are a wonderful teacher, just right for me, even if you are a redneck from Montana. ☺ Vedanta stands on its own and the teacher maybe doesn’t have to be relaxed, entertaining, charming, funny, smart and aware – but it helps!
I was so fed up with the spiritual scene, all these poor victim freaks with submissive looks in their eyes searching for an alternative family, searching for an endless group hug, searching for a new parent in form of a guru, and then wanting to have sex with him! It was just too spooky for me.
You and Vedanta came to me at – thanks to Isvara – exactly the right moment.
From the moment I heard you I knew I wanted to get free, nothing else but liberation. So a hot, burning desire guided me in this war with myself, in the beginning of my self-inquiry. I faced all my fears and conditions day by day, night by night, especially my core and biggest fear… being alone with myself, understanding who I really am.
It is so right that Vedanta came. It is a knowledge, a science. It is not about getting the epiphany-moment, it’s only about removing the ignorance, all these doubts, which come back over and over in new forms. It’s a quiet and beautiful understanding – I’m whole and complete, I’m just ever-present, actionless, non-dual awareness.Well, you know this, but somehow I have to tell you.
Every day is like falling backwards full of trust into a friendly giant cloud or a never-ending run of luck or, as you say, like a ride on a magic carpet. Isvara takes care of everything, there are no fears, no desires anymore, no ambition!
And – thanks to God – all this psychological crap has gone, all these past moments and situations, the tendency to over-analyze every problem, the relationship fights, all the time brooding and brooding, fears for the future, will I have enough money when I’m 70 and OH, NO! my mother will die one day… sad enough, but who gets her house in the end???
No attachments anymore, nothing sticks to me or hangs onto me anymore. Everything – no matter if it is good or bad – is just right.
I’m free, I’m full, I’m awareness.
And I’m looking forward to see you at the teaching in Westerwald in two weeks and just listening to more of the same of the same of the same.
Several Months Later After Suzie Attended the Westerwald Teachings
Suzie: Thank you again that you also exist as James, my perfect teacher. I am still listening to your teaching and for me every sentence makes perfect sense. Also, your short stories are right and round and logical in the end. I know you really don’t need to hear it, but I will tell you anyway. Vedanta and you as my teacher came to me as an instrument to help me set myself free!!! LOVE.
I don’t need you or the teaching anymore – but I won’t stop devoting myself to Vedanta – no way! The shift of view is still so fresh after six months and I want to make sure that my knowledge is ultra hard and fast. In fact my life now is just amazing. It is like a walk in the park, with pretty and strange flowers by the wayside and many different variations of curious trees all over the place.
What a relaxing pleasure living here on this beautiful planet – if you know who you really are!
In the beginning it’s really about the karma yoga attitude. In my case I was lucky because after feeling suicidal for a long time, there was just this burning desire for freedom that somehow caused everything to happen. Life happened on its own without any will on my part. It was the hardest thing ever that happened to me, but there was not one second that I was afraid of losing something. It was such a joy at last to be brutally honest with myself, to disclose all the delusions and confusions, to stop this painful and blind automatism, to say goodbye to my apparent self and finally understand who I really am, have always been and will always be. I see the way my other Vedanta friends struggle with the karma yoga attitude because they are not indifferent to the results of their actions yet but they are working on it.
In the Bhagavad Gita I love so much, the relationship between Krishna and Arjuna, the way they come in contact with each other, there is love and trust from the beginning. Arjuna opens up totally to Krishna with all his fears and inner conflicts. And Krishna just shows him the truth in such a kind, respectful and beautiful way. He is THE ONLY teacher because he knows he is the same and doesn’t need anything from Arjuna.
James: Sorry it took so long to reply but I have been very busy – ShiningWorld duties take up most of my time – and I had a fishing accident that injured my arm and makes it difficult to type. I know there were no questions in your email, but I need to say that I am very happy that you have found what you were seeking.
Having said that, it is also very important and a great tribute to your discrimination, that you have understood the value of Vedanta when you no longer need a teacher or the teaching. It seems strange to say that you need the scripture when you don’t need it, but you do. I have kept up my scriptural study for the last forty-five years and will go to the grave with the Bhagavad Gita in hand. The mind needs noble work, enlightened or not, and there is no better work than keeping it clear and sharp by continually refining one’s understanding and constant practice of the teachings. So you not only know who you are, you are indeed wise. Thank you for writing. I will publish your emails at the website, as they will be a great inspiration for others.
~ Much love, James