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Dave: James, yesterday I finished the 74 videos of the 2015 India Panchadasi course. Thank you so much. You’re a perfect teacher for me; what you say is clear, logical, reasonable. Your explanations of the Vedic scriptures have helped me so much.
Is there a point where one must throw oneself on the mercy of Isvara for a final push into moksa? To finally absolve that illusion of doership, that horrible burden of being the doer?
James: The implied meaning of your question is that one would only throw oneself on Isvara’s mercy when self-effort didn’t do the trick? Actually, when you see that Isvara is doing everything always (and always has been) you don’t think about the “final push.” In fact the final push is the the present knowledge that you are free as awareness and that Isvara does everything before, during and after the final push. You take a stand in awareness at every moment. Karma yoga is taking a stand in awareness because it is how Isvara sees action and its results. You dissolve the burden of doership little by little, day by day. You acknowledge that Isvara is causing the thoughts and generating Dave’s experiences out of the thoughts. Little by little you feel lighter and higher, but you see how the doer is shrinking until one day you notice quite unexpectedly that you haven’t suffered for months and when you look you can’t find a doer. It’s not good to think in absolute terms, as if moksa was an event. If you are sattvic enough you will perhaps notice when the last doership-thought disappears, and you may describe it like the “final” state or as an event – and it sort of is – but it isn’t really. It is best to always think that you are enlightened right now and that you are just clearing away the deadwood, getting rid of ideas to the contrary.
Dave: If my health holds out, I hope to meet you and Sundari in June at Bend. I studied Transcendental Meditation with Maharishi, read Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, studied with Ramtha, Ceanne DeRohan, all this and yet nothing really, no final benefit. I’m grateful to a friend who told me to get your book The Essence of Enlightenment and read it. It seems my whole life has been a waste. And yet Isvara knows what It’s doing, and here I am, this stupid pathetic worm who is actually I, the self. James, you and the teachings have given me hope. I hope it’s not too late, because I’m old and sick, but I hope God will have mercy on my stupidity and push me, like your guru did, and return me to my original state.
James: Once you are on the Vedanta bus you can relax, Dave. You are working hard and it is paying dividends. Yes, your life was a waste from a certain point of view, but it wasn’t a waste at all, because it prepared you for Vedanta, which definitely works. In the meantime love that pathetic little worm as the self loves everything and don’t worry. Be happy to have a pathetic little worm to love and love it so much you don’t mind keeping it around once you are 100% convinced you are the self. Dave is not so bad. He’s got his good points too. Just focus on who you actually are and he will no longer inspire your pity. You didn’t create him, so you can blame Isvara for him ☺ and take him as he is.