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Realized but Doesn’t Know It
Mary: Dear James, I hope everything is fine. I continued contemplating the teachings. Yesterday an idea came about passing through the mind all my life through memories. I wanted to see the unchanging factor during all my life, and during this session a shift happened. Suddenly a cognitive distance, a very concrete distance, appeared between me and Mary. Before I could understand it logically; also, the last month it was like something more clear than just logical. But now it seems that the “I” is really shifted from Mary to me, Mary is completely in me now. I can’t find the right words. Now it’s very clear when Mary claims to be the “I.” It’s pretty much effortless now.
During the last month It was like a dream state all the time and all inquiry. Now it’s like clear, not the cloud state anymore. It was funny yesterday when I went sleeping. I couldn’t stop laughing, it seemed that I could never sleep, the one that was sleeping was Mary, not me. It was so clear.
Everything is still in duality but at least the superimposition between me and Mary dissolved or has become more clear. I think the inquiry should continue till I realize my true nature, till it becomes effortlessly clear that everything is made out of me, there’s nothing but me.
Any comments and suggestions regarding this email would be well accepted.
James: Congratulations! You have been exceptionally diligent with self-inquiry. Everything is as it should be, but here are a few comments on your last paragraph.
When you say that “everything is still in duality,” is there an implied meaning? If there is, is the implied meaning of your statement that there should be no perception of duality? Some people think that liberation is the removal of the perception of duality. But duality is only a thought. Duality is always present as long as you are alive. Self-knowledge – liberation – means that you know that the perception of duality is a consequence of maya and that maya is eternal. It is present because people identify with the body. The belief that duality is real should be destroyed by self-knowledge, not the perception of duality.
Liberation is not only a shift from Mary, the reflected awareness/self, to you, pure original consciousness, but it is a shift in the world’s status. Formerly one thinks duality is real, after the shift, one knows that it isn’t.
You are right that inquiry should continue because your statement that you have not realized your true nature is not correct, if your statement that the shift from Mary to you has happened. It seems to me that you have realized it. You just don’t know that you have realized it. “Your true nature” is the one in whom Mary appears. You say, “Mary is completely in me,” now. The one who makes that statement – the “me” – is your true nature – pure, original, non-experiencing witness existence/consciousness. There is no other option – if you are not Mary.
Mary: Thank you, James. I think I am clear that duality will continue to exist in the apparent reality; there’s no other way.
I’ll try to explain it better if I can. The change that I notice is that before I had to discriminate after actions and during the day to “divide” Mary from me. Now this comes effortlessly; there’s no need for putting effort into it.
James: Good. Discrimination is now knowledge.
Mary: But something is still left when I look at the world; still there’s need for tuning in (the same tuning in that I was using these times between me and Marin).
James: Who needs to tune in? It won’t be you, awareness. The need to tune in is just a vasana with which you identify. It means that you haven’t discriminated yourself from the need. The need is the world. It has nothing to do with you.