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Keep Studying Yourself
Seeker: Ramji, I wanted to touch base to tell you I have begun what I can only describe as a slow extrication process. I turned off my Facebook because it was tied to the sense of needing to see and be seen. So that has helped tremendously with the feelings of needing to be noticed and liked. I also have began removing and or severely limiting exchanges with women who I know are trying to get my attention. Food is an ongoing battle, but one step at a time.
I must say letting go of the need to be loved and noticed by everyone is a huge weight lifted. The less needy I become the more folks seem to be drawn to me as a source of guidance. I guess that’s natural. So helping without the need for recognition of appreciation is very freeing.
I am starting to appreciate the beauty and simplicity of a life removed from endlessly acting out blind desires. I still have plenty of rajas and tamas, but the actions I would normally engage in behind them are losing their appeal at a steady rate. Everything the scripture says will happen is happening, not right away, but it’s clear there is no getting off the bus. So I feel like I can relax and just go with the flow.
It seems as though the battle has just begun, but I have surrendered to the fact that there is no avoiding it. I must slay these vasanas, these attachments, that have been my closest friends and companions, surrender to the fact that the scripture is unequivocally true and everything thing else is just desire.
Even the super subtle feeling of pride in having realized the truth feels like a limiting thought, ego trying to claim awareness as and accomplishment, which only serves to try to make myself feel better than others. Why would I need to feel better than someone else if I feel good enough as it is?
This seems to uncover a deep well of love and is-ness. It’s a very beautiful thing. So as it stands I feel like I understand the essence of the Gita, the struggle to accept that there is no way out of this battle.
What do you suggest? Should I continue to study the Gita or move forward to another text?
Ramji: Keep studying yourself with the help of any text. They all say the same thing. But if you want a challenge, study Inquiry into Existence.