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Seeker: Dear James, my question is about impulsive behaviour. My jiva is still suffering from some impulsive behaviour and can’t help himself. Lately much emotion (mostly anger) came to the surface and he wanted to hurt his body in many ways. The most common ways are stuffing himself with bad food, sugar and caffeine. His attitude is “I don’t care.” Besides that he also started to feel the strong pull of sexual lust and masturbation, and then feels guilty. Inside he knows that afterwards pain will be much stronger, which it always is, but he still goes that way.
James, how does my jiva know that he is not suppressing feelings? Because his experience shows that after saying NO to some impulses, they attack back even stronger. Does it happen because the knowledge (I am complete and whole) is not firm yet?
James: You are not suppressing feelings. The lust and the food cravings are your feelings. They are born of tamoguna. If you want to purify them you have to do karma yoga and teach your ego to apply the knowledge “I am whole and complete” when they arise. Basically, you have a self-esteem issue. You don’t love yourself properly. When your self-esteem is low it is nearly impossible to stand up to your desires. I suggest you contact Christian Leeby and perhaps take his online course in how to control and transform the mind. Here is his email address: email@example.com.
~ Love, James