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Ditching the Illusion of Youth
Christine: You look great. Gray suits you!! I am tired of coloring my hair and have no interest in primping the body. However, I’m still working, and gray = old in the world of work, especially for women, so until I get a new job (probably the last before I retire), color it is. No biggie.
Sundari: Actually, I think it is a biggie if you are attached to the idea of age being important, even though the body is mithya. What “the world” tells us is a lie. I did not have to go grey, because actually I have very little grey, but I wanted to ditch the pretense and attachment to the idea of youthfulness. What for and who for? Especially when I am unborn and undying. Who cares how anyone sees the body if it is not you? When the last binding vasana was dispatched by self-knowledge, there was a need to bring the outward appearance in line with my inner knowledge – which is beyond time and ageless.
At this point, it was no longer a biggie, but it does feel right to be grey. My physical appearance, as unimportant as it is, feels aligned with my true appearance as the ageless self. I realised what James has always said is true. Age or attractiveness has nothing to do with outward appearance. It is only the presence and confidence of the self that is really attractive. It was my daughter who was most against me going grey because she was afraid that being grey meant I would die sooner. But she loves it.
Christine: After reading what you have written about going gray, I’m going to try it. I’ll send you a pic once the transformation is complete. I’m not completely gray either, so we’ll see. I’m not sure about South Africa, but here there is ageism which is unfortunately a fact of life. So one needs to keep a youthful appearance even if one doesn’t care about youth or buy into it. However, as James says, it has nothing to do with the outward appearance. It’s funny but when I’m in Florida I just wear my Thai fisherman pants, t-shirts and flip-flops, no color, nothing, and I couldn’t care less.
It’s interesting that your daughter equates going gray with getting older and dying. I never had that association. I’m thinking that it simply reflects the freedom that I already am.
Sundari: Good for you Christine, have the balls to fly in the face of public opinion – you will be amazed how freeing it is and also how wrong public opinion is when you know who you are and don’t give a shit about it. Being the self in every way is the sexiest, healthiest and most sane thing possible!
~ Love, Sundari