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Flex That Nididhyasana Muscle
Inquirer: Hey, brother.
So since my last email, I said that I had discriminated the self from the five sheaths, which led to direct knowledge.
Whatever appears, I witness as awareness.
It is just as simple as that.
I do not have to do tricks with my mind anymore, since everything that appears in me is “known” effortlessly. I do not have to remind myself that I am awareness, so to speak, since it is doubt-free.
Sometimes, and not often, there’s a tendency to go into samadhi until I then realize that I witness the body-mind whether I am focusing or not. At this point I apparently return to my effortless knowing.
It is amazing that life lives itself, so to speak.
But perfect satisfaction? Not quite.
It seems as if I experience my body more directly, and sometimes I can get anxious.
I’ve read a satsang from James in which he says nididhyasana is basically for jnanis with firm knowledge who are denied the fruit of it, which is perfect satisfaction.
Then there are some texts which state direct knowledge gradually removes sorrows, stating that self-knowledge is a greater “joy” than anything to do with prarabdha. I hope I am making myself clear.
But I have yet to know this perfect safisfaction.
So it’s basically nididhyasana for me?
Daniel: Yo, brother. Spot on – nididhyasana, all the way baby!
Inquirer: By the way, I am lacking gratitude a bit, but slowly I am starting to love the fact that I know who I am.
Daniel: Self-inquiry is the most gratifying service that you can offer both yourself and others. Self-knowledge only works with an attitude of gratitude, so clearly you don’t lack as much bhakti as you may think!
Perhaps you’re confusing the feeling of ingratitude with a few tamasic vasanas that can dull the mind. But this ain’t a big deal either. You’re inquiry is solid. Just keep flexing that nididhyasana muscle!