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Meditation On “I”
James: This is an email I received from a young man, Angus, who realized who he is. The knowledge impacted him deeply. He told his friends that he was ready to die (because he knew he couldn’t die) and started giving away his possessions. Some months later his car ran off an embankment and his body died.
The Lord, you say? The Guy upstairs? The Man with the beard? The One who always cares?
I have come to learn that all words have a limit. He and she and you and me, aren’t we all it?
So using language, I’ll try to express the Lord you speak of, in folly and jest.
It’s the I in I, as Bob Marley said. So I’ll use “I” as the Lord as I lie in my bed.
And who is lying here thinking of these ideas, thoughts and words? It’s beyond the Angus, that little turd.
The ego tries to grasp this concept of God. The Man, the Myth, the Legend, Jesus? Rod?
It is all these things, containing the light, and It’s beyond all the visions we see in the night.
It’s our true nature’s essence, It’s the thing beyond thought. It’s the Spirit, the Love, It’s all that we got.
It’s the contain-less container, It’s beyond language and form. Yet these things are in It, every mouse, frog and worm.
It’s hard to express when English is finite. The totality is everything, so let us use “Light.”
Light is a word, that represents an idea so abstract we cannot see touch or hear. It’s so full of lack.
The I is the Light within all that is told. It’s not here to be gained nor lost nor sold.
It was here before us and will be here when we’re gone. It’s in every composer, ballad and song.
So the I in I knows, and the I in you too, what must be done and what is to do.
But I’m not the doer and I don’t control what is being done by my heart, body and soul.
For they are not mine, these objects of form. I am the Subject, you know, Observer of worm?
So I’ll trust and surrender to the I in the whole. I’ll let It take over and It can control.
My life not mine, for it was never that way. It was I’s all along, that’s what I’m trying to say.
No fear, no anxiety, no worry, no pain. Those things are not mine, though they all look the same.
To the ego they cling and toucher the I. and that’s okay because they are not Me or Mine.
Know fear, know anxiety, know worry, know pain. For these are the things that will drive you sane.
For I am the One who observes this play. I am the One who has made it this way.
I am the One who has chosen to be free. I am the One who contains you and me.
So go on with your day, go on with your life. But let go of the sorrow, the worry, the strife.
For those are not yours, nor your body or mind. Those are all God’s so you can be fine.
Practice, practice, practice is all you can do. And who is the doer that is doing you?
Just be one with the Observer who has breathed life in this game. And allow your life to be simple and sane.
And love it and feel it and be it for all. It was created by You, and by You it will fall.
For this life is fleeting, it’s gone in a flash. And thank God for that because it’s all dust and ash.
Nothing to hold on to, more space than stuff. So all can be let go of. It’s not all that tough.
Again, trust and surrender, and know this to be true. I am I that is I and I am I that is you.