Search & Read
Even More Silence
Stephen: Ramji, today I watched the three gunas video Inquiry.
I was invited to a dinner where I knew there would be women, food, temptation and mingling rajasic energies. Seeing that the evening would not be in harmony with my goal, I declined the invitation. Something in me knew that this was the correct and proper response.
I realized that lately I have been eating only tamasic and rajasic foods like butter, bread and coffee, so I switched back to my usual sattvic diet. I also got back into exercising, as I was sitting for long hours writing and staying away from everyone, particularly my mother, who is rajasic. That kind of rajas is very challenging.
Sexual fantasies came up also, but as I thought about how unreal they are and that there is no lasting fulfillment in working them out, they seem to dissolve. A sattvic lifestyle is more suitable for me.
I took a walk today. As I was walking I began to cry… I do not know why. It was not bad. I saw nature, trees, birds and water, and there was an intense quiet present. I was humbled. So present.
Why the words came I do not know, but I said to myself, “God, if you want to take me now, I will go. I have been so blessed in my life and experienced so much grace, so many gifts, so much beauty.” And there was even more silence.
There was no fear of death, no holding onto life either, just serene, peaceful silence and almost no thoughts, just beingness, awareness.
Om shanti om.
Ramji: This awakening you are experiencing is so beautiful, Stephen, and yes, the more sattvic your mind and lifestyle the more intense it will be.
The crying was bhakti, the self appreciating the beauty of itself in everything. At some point you will be able to accept invitations to luscious dinners with women who have luscious assets and only see them with the non-dual eye of awareness.
~ Love, Ramji