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Singing the Song of the Lord
Vedanta student: Hey, homie, a couple of days ago, the search ended, the last bit of ignorance left my mind and I know I can never get it back. Then, for two days or so, jiva felt really emotional, much like all those ups and downs before starting studying Vedanta. I even cried a few tears, disappointed with my parents’ inability to appreciate the path I have chosen.
I kept thinking, “Ignorance is gone, ignorance is gone,” and although it is, I expected some kind of reward for it, like, “Here’s my sadhana, God, make me a perfect being.”
It was simply an uncomfortable feeling, like, “My search ended, what on earth am I going to do now?” I kept thinking how I would have to step back into the world, and jiva’s mind was all over the place.
A week later, sometimes this “longing for ignorance” reappears, but I have learned to deal with it. I don’t know, sometimes it just sucks that I can’t go back.
Anyway, I just remind myself to sing the song of the Lord, and know I am cared for, loved and understood. The BIG difference is the way I view myself and the world around me. The disappointment with my elders quickly gave way and in its place came a deep recognition “I am understood.”
Is it easy for you though to simply dance to Isvara’s tune once you know who you are (even though you have/had to deal with health issues)? Just wondering, please don’t think of it as rude.
~ Om, out!
Daniel: Super, homie, nothing beats singing the song of the Lord. A devoted mind will always be taken care of, always.
The grounded sense of “I am understood” is the fruit of self-acknowledgement, self-knowledge. Good for you.
As the action figure, not dancing to Isvara’s tune means going against the apparent flow, and going against the Lord’s jingle is painful and just results in more suffering.
It’s not always easy. And of course if the mind’s feeling overly tamasic or rajasic, it’s even more tricky to accept the action figure’s shitty prarabdha karma. But any sense of resistance is just another opportunity to take a step back into yourself as the self because as the self, you lovingly don’t just give a ______. ☺
Self-knowledge will never let your jiva down, ever. No matter how “dark” the apparent situation appears to be, a sense of steady confidence, care and ease holds the action figure. Salutations to our teachers and the great lineage.
Vedanta student: Thank you, I really appreciate it.
~ Om, out!
Daniel: And I appreciate you, dear self.
~ Easy ease
Vedanta student: The benefit of self-knowledge: jiva can do it, not do it or do something different altogether. It’s pretty funny watching jiva: “Oh, what do I need to do now? What state of mind is best for me right now?”
There’s a sense of fun to it all. Sometimes jiva goes into samadhi or just enjoys the knowledge. Sometimes it doesn’t know what to do, so I just watch it lovingly. And of course jiva can’t be perfect, so I watch it fail, win and everything in between.
Salutations to the lineage and our teachers!
~ Om, Guruski!
Daniel: Hari Om!