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James: Hi, Piers. Sorry for the delay writing, but I have been totally swamped. I actually nearly finished this letter a couple of weeks ago and thought I had sent it, but when I checked my sent folder, it seems I didn’t.
Piers: I know who I am but my knowing is only partial, and “I” want to feel Godlike all the time.
Actually, I’m coming to believe that this is not true. As you know, I have not been satisfied with a feeling of presence – no matter how pleasant – because I’m aware that there is still a lot of not-knowing. That is what I want to break through. I don’t wish to realise the self because it will make me feel good all the time; I wish to realise the self because I desire to know the Truth, regardless of how “I” might feel about it.
James: You are right about feeling Godlike. The only “feeling” associated with enlightenment is certainty. It is a sense of rock-solid confidence in your wholeness.
Piers: It wasn’t my intention to end up on this non-dual path, I’m just on it. I have no choice in the matter.
James: It never is. The self is always guiding its misguided self, i.e. Piers, back home. It just happens.
Piers: You recommended to me when I first wrote to you that I reread your book and the satsangs at the website, which I am doing. I took this as instruction really. There is a lot of information to take in, but I do understand. Some of the words throw me a bit, but that’s okay. Yesterday I found out that the “gunas” are ropes, rajas, tamas and sattva, all of which I can identify within myself at various times. One thing I’m fairly sure of is that my mind is predominantly sattvic much of the time, certainly compared to how it was.
James: I think that is right. You are quite self-aware.
Piers: Speaking of tamas – which I don’t seem to be too caught up by at the moment – I have found that when I read the satsangs or your book I often want to sleep for a couple of hours afterwards. The same goes for reading Nisargadatta. Is this just because of the weight of the information? Or is it because I need to address my tamasic/rajasic tendencies and habits? It has to be said I drink a lot of coffee and smoke like a trooper.
James: It will be from your tendencies, although it takes a lot of concentration to follow the arguments in the book.
Piers: What else? Oh, yeah, I looked at the teachings you’ve got coming up in Berlin and Turkey. In the meantime I will continue with the satsangs, the book and the application of “I am awareness.” Is there anything else I should do?
James: That should be sufficient for now. You might think about the “why” of your smoking and coffee vasanas.
~ All the best, James