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Hitching a Ride on Awareness
Ken: Dear James, I’ve been studying under you through books, videos and one satsang you gave in Portland, Oregon, a couple of years ago. As far as I know, I can track with you on just about everything except this and maybe if I can understand or rather accept it somehow, it will be the thing to throw me over the fence, so to speak.
Both times the question has been: Why should jivas be coming here in the first place, since there is no time or space, and pretend that it’s a suffering jiva and try to get free when it is already free?
Ramji’s response: “There is no why. Creation isn’t actually in time. The Big Bang and other things occurred first, we were late to the party, so we can’t know what happened before, so who cares? Just deal with it. Maya makes no sense.”
That’s my dilemma. How can I walk around the rest of my remaining life and just suck it up and deal with it? I get it that I can’t know the entire mind of Isvara – Arjuna already tried it. I don’t need to know everything, just why I’m here, a free and unlimited being playing a dumb-ass, obfuscated life form that wants to know who he is.
Is it because it’s no fun playing with yourself when your left hand knows what your right hand is doing? In other words, if one was conscious and aware (enlightened or whatever it could be called), the jig would be up? So the only way for Isvara to play the game is to pretend that it’s ignorant and limited, and therefore has to crave and cling? I tend to ramble on, so I’ll stop here. Dear James, this is busting my balls. Try and set my ass straight.
Ramji: Got it in one, Ken! Rather than use my words, here is an email that just came in that should flesh out your understanding:
Student: Dear James, so Isvara gave me a knock on the door with the health issue I told you about, and I realized that I always need to watch my thinking no matter how convinced I am that I am awareness. The jiva mind comes up with so many absolutes which act as a smoke screen. I am learning to listen. ☺
It occurred to me more clearly this past week that there really is nothing wrong with samsara. It is not an illusion to transcend but an eternal manifestation that hitches a ride on awareness. It never goes away, so why try to leave it? It would be like trying to be alive without breathing. It is a given even though it is an illusion. I could be way off with these thoughts but the way that I see it now brings a lot of peace. There is no struggle even if I am struggling. This core understanding is now in the driver’s seat and I can relinquish control. I can even enjoy what samsara is showing me instead of viewing it as “the enemy” to my spiritual journey. This view of samsara in a way has been the obstruction. I am not trying to get out of or beyond samsara, just clearly being at peace with the game.
~ Love to you and Sundri… XXOO
James: Ah, yes, that pesky jiva mind. Always listen to it and always question it. You are 100% right: there is nothing wrong with samsara, because there is no actual samsara – only luminous, ever-free you. Actually, you are way on with these thoughts and you can profitably leave the driving to Isvara. Time to enjoy unreservedly. You are alive without breathing. I’m so happy you have cracked the code!
~ Much love, James