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How to Weaken Vasanas
Ken: Dear Ramji, both of us are so grateful to have you as our teacher. I feel blest to have you available to “bounce” and challenge my enquiry and contemplation and get helpful and meaningful advice. So we feel privileged, honoured and grateful to have helped in some way.
Otherwise, where I am now is bringing the knowledge to experience, the coupling of knowledge and experience. By this I mean that I am focusing on “satisfaction” with the adjectives “absolute, complete and undiminishing.” My formal meditation and informal reminders during the day consist of knowing I am satisfaction and feeling, abiding as that as my nature, experiencing it as myself more and more. I realise that it is the ananda aspect of the “sat-chit-ananda” that is more powerful and attractive for me than the sat or chit. I know sat and chit are what I am but the ananda is so sweet and yummy and is also myself.
I realise ananda/satisfaction is really what I have been strongly attracted to, searching for it in all objects and activities in life, even when fully ignorant, e.g. as an infant and as a seeker… seeking it but not knowing what, where or why. No wonder I have craved ananda and have avoided whatever prevents the experience of it. No wonder the enlightened are “blissed out” while living pragmatically.
I find that this approach also reduces the power of the vasanas. I seem to have been born with and have definitely built up strong vasanas for pleasure and satisfaction but in the wrong direction hence the disappointments. Now realising I am satisfaction itself I talk to myself when the vasanas arise: “Hey! That object/experience can give some satisfaction but that will change and end. It is all about pleasing myself. Come on! I already am the absolute and complete and undiminishing satisfaction. Feel it. Stay with this and let go the crumbs. Why waste time with the crumbs? I am absolute, complete and undiminishing satisfaction. That’s it.”
It works. The vasana weakens and there is no fear of any thought or feeling or desire arising. Nothing to suppress or act out, just handled in this way. And if I decide to indulge in it, as long as it is dharmic, I enjoy it. Yes, true freedom. To do or not to do, it is my free choice. Only because I am already free!! What a joke!
Also, there appears to be increasing clarity…? pointing to limitlessness? There appears to be change against the backdrop of changelessness…? the drop undergoing merging with the ocean? Jiva losing more and more jiva-ness and realising awareness more and more. Still, a work in progress.
Otherwise, not much else to report. I will spend three weeks at the Chinmaya ashram at Veliyanad, to be in Shankara’s ambience. What a genius!
Looking forward to seeing you and Sundari again at Trout Lake, watching the webinar and DVDs. As always, much love and gratitude from both of us.