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I Am a Burning Mountain
Thomas: Dear James, I am on fire without being destroyed. I am a burning mountain. I am self-luminous, self-shining. I cannot be located in any place. I cannot be lost or found, only forgotten.
I am identified less and less with Thomas. There’s a slowly growing feeling of happiness, a lack of concern for the body-mind, just letting it do its thing, so in fact life flows much more easily. There’s no wish to be doing anything else, to be anywhere else. It’s strange to let the vasanas play out without feeling responsible or guilty or anxious about them.
I know I’m awareness, but I don't have to keep reminding myself! I think you once you know your name, you remember it only when necessary. I thought recently, “It’s as if I’ve stepped out of the movie. The movie goes on, but I’m not in it.” Sometimes an actor called Thomas appears and says his lines. He behaves as if he’s real, but that’s okay because I, the onlooker, know he’s not.
This morning I’d been reading one of your satsangs (A Realized Soul with a Small Doubt) in the Self-Realized People section of the website. This is my account of what occurred in my subsequent meditation:
“I saw that the changing and the unchanging are an apparent duality, and that I am the one by which the duality is known. All experiences, all thoughts, point to me as the knower of them. I am always here as a precondition of their existence. Their very existence presupposes me. Everything that is, is a signpost to me, a sign of me, a reflection of me. In my radiance, all things take shape.”
A doubt I have: am I just repeating things I’ve read? (I did score 90 in the Enlightenment Quiz this week, or 93 if you count the questions where you had two valid answers but I only chose one. Or is that cheating? LOL.)
Looking forward to seeing you and Sundari soon.
James: Lovely to hear from you, Thomas! It seems the knowledge is working. No, you are not just repeating things you have read. You are the one that observes the thought “Am I just repeating things I have read?” From reading your Thomas report it sounds very much like what is happening is “real,” Thomas. Don’t doubt your experience. See you soon!
~ Much love, James