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I Want to Teach Enlightenment
Anna: Dear James, thanks for reply. What you’ve said is working in me a lot. If you are telling me that I do not have any obligations to teach, I’m relieved to hear it’s a desire I can give up right away. God for free because it’s my nature, isn’t it?
James: Yes, indeed.
Anna: I remember this suggestion. I can join myself, and it is more than enough to join myself. I was more clear right after the awakening.
James: One should gently practice self-inquiry after an awakening until the mind is completely pure, if clarity is desired. There are usually things that need to be thought through from your true nature even after you have realized who you are.
Anna: I also realised the idea of teaching was never my intention, because people around me are telling me always again that I should do it, and somehow it has overtaken me to think that is what I have to do!
James: It is not wise to listen to other people. Everyone has plenty of advice for others. Instead they should look at themselves.
Anna: When you are saying I should keep a karma yoga attitude also, there is no problem to do so. It’s what I’m actually doing because there is no personal goal left to go for. But the karma yoga attitude disappears if I’m asked to give a yoga lesson, for example. And there is a separation from the self or…? I just don’t want it, and to get asked always again is a pressure on me which I don’t like ether, because it is in conflict with the karma yoga attitude. What can I do? Changing the job, leaving that place so they cannot ask me anymore? But vasanas will not burn out in this way or…? Or can I say, God made up this anxiety, so he will/can not move on the wrong path? Because, like you say, all the feelings and thoughts are in his hands?
James: This seems to be a self-confidence issue, a confusion about your svadharma, your duty to yourself. You need to stick with what you know is right for you. Fuck everyone else. What do they know about what is right for you? Tell them off and stand up for what you want. In this way you develop self-confidence.
Anna: I like your interpretation of the Shiva vision, it’s a point of view, which makes sense to me. It also shows again, in any object you only can see yourself because mind creates the object, and not the object the mind. Correct?
James: The objects appear in the mind. If the mind has not been cleaned, the mind interprets what appears in it according to its likes and dislikes.
Anna: But in other words, if people around me ask me to teach, it’s a desire, which comes out of myself after all. Or is this a wrong teaching which I picked up somewhere?
James: There are no others when you see reality from the self’s point of view. But when you take yourself to be the ego, there are others. In your case it seems to me that you are confusing the others with their desires.
From the self’s point of view, the others are you and their desires are you, but you are free of the others and their desires. So you have no obligation to satisfy another person’s desire nor do you have an obligation to satisfy your own desires.
The issue is why others’ desires confuse you. Perhaps you want to teach. It is okay if you have the nature of a teacher and you do it in response to a specific request, but if it is not your nature and you easily get identified with the doer, the teacher, you should not do it. Or you should do it in the karma yoga spirit. Perhaps you are not confident in what you know? Sometimes teaching others is a good way to find out how well you know what you know. But you will sometimes embarrass yourself and if you do not like egg on your face, it will be difficult. But that does not mean that you should not do it.
In fact your happiness should be the teaching. Never mind the words. If you are happy, people will benefit.
~ Love, James