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Know and Be What You Are
I hope this note finds you in good health and you and Sundari are enjoying your journey together!!!
I hesitate to write these days because, well, there isn’t much to write about. My sadhana boils down to a constant recognition and reflection of the understanding “I am awareness.” Questions often arise but in light of the knowledge and recognition of the ground of self, questions most often subside. As some time has passed since I found your communication of Vedanta and our last exchange it became clear that all of the scriptures point back or reflect to this substratum, the ground of existence, or awareness, over and over. How could they not? At some point after looking into the mirror long enough one must realize “Hey, this is me!” As this became clear, there was the recognition I could continue to look in the mirror or like the Nike adage “Just do it” suggests stay with the recognition until the actuality or import of that knowledge/recognition becomes clear. In this respect the whole of life has become a meditation.
In a recent email satsang (October 31, 2013) entitled Man up and Fight you state in reference to the inquirer’s juggling of pursuits of moksa while still trying to get maya to work “If you want to have your cake and eat it too you will get half a cake and a lot of frustration. You should do one or the other: chase samsaric things until you hit bottom and have definitely had enough so that you never go back or chase moksa wholeheartedly.”
This exchange speaks to me. The more self-knowledge is realized it seems the more maya says, “Oh, yeah! Here, try this.” In the satsang exchange you suggest “Put the intellect in charge backed by will power and stand apart from the vasanas.” Perhaps I am still blind to some vasanas but will power does not seem necessary here to know and realize and be the awareness that I am, “I know I am fine as I am,” in the middle of a life that is not working very well.
Where fear and stress dominated there is now greater ease due to this recognition. “I am fine” is not just a self-soothing good idea but there is still the maya. You go on to say “You have the knowledge, now it is time to actualize it, make your life line up with it.” I am not clear about actualizing versus making life line up. I hear “make life work.” What I can tell you from here, from, dare I say it… experience, is all I can do is face life from the realization “I am awareness.” That’s about it. I don’t know what actualization means other than “know and be what you are.” How does life line up with this? I don’t know. What does that mean?
Ram: It is lovely to hear from you, Robin. I think of you often and wondered how you are doing. I am not sure what you mean by the statement “make life work” but if it means “make it line up with Robin’s desires” then that is not what I mean by getting it in line with Isvara. I don’t think the “man up and fight” idea applies to you. You are totally committed to self-knowledge. I don’t think you are willingly chasing things in samsara although your karma must be keeping your mind a bit extroverted considering the difficult nature of your circumstances; your job is simply to do what you can in terms of action and to manage your mind. It is sad that your marriage broke down, that there are three hungry mouths to feed and that money is tight but there is nothing to be done about it except manage the anxiety.
Getting life lined up with Isvara means understanding that life is what it is by Isvara’s grace/will and that nothing can be done about it except to “face life from the realization that I am awareness.” If you do that – which it seems you are doing – then Isvara is obligated to “take care of your getting and keeping.” This means that you can stop worrying about things. You can stay calm and happy. It is that simple. Your statement “I don’t know what actualization means other than know and be what you are” tells me that you have truly understood the teachings, Robin. I don’t think you should take the doubt you expressed in this email seriously.
~ Much love, Ram