Search & Read
No More Nice Answers
Carlos: Dearest James, it is funny because I had the thought to send you another mail asking you to not be nice to me but instead to send me the truth… well, obviously that email was not necessary, and I’m very thankful for that. I really needed to hear what you wrote. Yes, I’m spoiled. I’m really very grateful you brought that up and showed to me. I feel like if I had been drowning in the bathtub and suddenly you slap me on the face and say, “Hey, you idiot, look where you are. Just stand up!” Thank you, James.
I do have some questions from what you wrote but, is it okay that I ask you when I feel there is a need? I know you don’t owe me anything and that many people need your support, so I really appreciate any help you can offer.
It is absolutely true that my sentimental nature got the best out of me. The thing is that I was actually quite “pleased” with this sentimental nature, but I see now that this aspect of myself is not interested in moksa but in a better, more fulfilled life. But I can also see that it is a very strong habit, a very strong “ME,” and it will take quite some effort to get rid of it. Can you please give me some suggestions on how to go about it? I mean, getting rid of it may not be the right thing… When I read your email I saw it clearly, but to be sentimental is really like the nature of this body-mind… Is it just a matter of seeing very clearly that it is not interested in moksa? Is this all or are there also some other ways that may help?
James: The problem is that you have not been clear about what you really want. If you really want moksa, then you will not be interested in the romantic, sensual stuff. It will not motivate you. You seek pleasure because you feel incomplete. The more you indulge your feelings the more you are tied to them. Moksa is freedom from the doer, the experiencer. It is not for the experiencer. It is considered very romantic and cool to be a passionate, feeling, sensuous person in certain circles. There is definitely nothing wrong with pleasure for a worldly person, but for someone who claims to be seeking liberation it is a danger area.
Carlos: (One of) the results of (my) ignorance is a wife and a son. You said, “If you weren’t attached to your son, you could walk away and go to the cave, but I have a feeling that you cannot do this: that you would be tormented by the thought that you had abandoned your dharma as a father.” All true, but I have some questions: Why is going to a cave a good thing?
James: It is only a good thing if you have the temperament of a sanyassi and the cave comes to you. But if you are running away from your duties and responsibilities, the cave will not work, because you will be tormented by guilt. I don’t see you as a sanyassi. You seem to be a kami, a pleasure-seeker. The cave will be hell for you, worse than Bucharest. It is better to devise a solution in samsara and rub your nose in your sentimentality until you are totally convinced that it is not the way to go.
Carlos: For whatever reason, there is a son. Is it really walking away from him the highest solution, and only because I don’t have the balls to do it you are giving me a lesser solution? Is there not renunciation in action? Why did Krisna say to Arjuna that he needed to keep the action? Is it not, to a certain extent, dealing with everyday life, like having to fight with the Kauravas?
James: Krishna told Arjuna to stay in Bucharest and do his duty. It is not a matter of balls. Okay, I advise you to walk away from it and go to the cave. Let me know how it works out. ☺ You have to keep doing action in the karma yoga spirit to burn out the sensuous vasanas.
Carlos: Continuing with the previous point, in your letter you say that before continuing with Vedanta (which of course is not something I think I can just set aside; actually, my feeling is that you push me even more into it) I should solve my problem. It is true that, I believe, it was mostly my sentimental nature that kept me in the job I have at the moment and I can see now that I don’t really need that anymore. I will look to improve this situation and I’m already looking into some possibilities. But also, I cannot really depend on improving my situation; this may happen but it may not happen, it depends on many things before I’m able to come back to Vedanta. Will not the karma yoga attitude (something that I know needs a lot of work in my case) be as much help as improving the situation?
James: Yes. The karma yoga attitude is the only solution. You cannot rely on circumstances to go your way.
Carlos: Maybe some of the answers to this questions are already in the mail you sent me – I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself – but I’m very glad, if I get a response from you, that it will be the truth, and not a “nice” answer.
Thank you, James, with much love and appreciation.
James: Yes, no more nice answers.
~ Love, James