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Nothing to Control
Carl: I am once again grateful for the advice and commentaries. I am slowly working through the videos. I have watched roughly half, but they are still my clearest source. In fact if I haven’t taken enough of your time already, I have a question with reference to your comments and one of the talks I recently listened to.
In file 16 of the Vivekachudamani Tiruvannamali 2012 talks you made a statement with regard to distinguishing self from objects: “If something can be known it is not me. It is an object appearing in me.” I understand the usefulness in light of the vital exercise you made reference to in your last email: keeping the knowledge in mind at all times until the binding vasanas have been rendered non-binding.
Consistent with this I have been identifying more and more as not-self. Doing this fully means identifying every belief, apparent fact and feeling as not-self.
However, when as I continue to apply this discrimination between myself and objects, some apparent conflicts arise. Without awareness shining upon an object it cannot be known. In fact nothing can be known outside of awareness. This means without me nothing exists. I, as awareness, seem to define everything in reality. I am not suggesting I control anything whatsoever, and I know nothing defines me, but how am I not everything that appears in me?
James: Very good reasoning, Carl. It is correct. You define everything insofar as nothing exists without you. This knowledge is liberation from the “not-self.” For you, awareness, there is no need to control anything, because as awareness you know there is nothing other than you to control and you experience yourself as full and complete always, so the objects are not attractive, hence no need to get them – nor is there a fear of losing them.
Your knowledge is complete when you understand that Isvara controls the objects. So neither Carl, the person you formerly thought you were, nor you, awareness, is concerned with objects. In fact there is no conscious person called Carl. He is a name for an inert reflection of you, awareness, shining in the subtle body.