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Open Relationships Are for Greedy People
Seeker: Dear James, I feel this urge and sweet obligation to write you, even if I said goodbye to you already two times, since I consider you my teacher, and something important “happened.”
Last time I left you I had mentally embraced the fact that everything is awareness and I am that. It was also my daily practice to hold every event, thought and emotion in that light, which led to a daily growing of awareness of this truth. Also, I knew awareness was looking right out of my eyes, and there was no difference between this body and its emotions and awareness.
But in telling you about the relationship with “the philanderer,” you stated that this truth had not “worked its way down.” I have been considering this since and took coaching, and monthly I see a “rebalancing” therapist.
Sometimes a different word for the same (non) thing can make everything clear. In replacing “awareness” with “attention,” I suddenly absolutely knew I was only that, and could not be other than that. It is not “me” putting the attention on “the self,” it is the self (attention) that manifests itself in a question-and-answer modus, and the stream between it, to develop, create and grow.
The question (the little me looking for truth) is no other then the big self on its journey to complete recognition; the knower and the knowledge are the same. But more important than this understanding, is the absolute peace and sweetness and softness and clearness that this brings about. That is why I am so grateful to you, that you showed me the way.
After this recognition, not everything became smooth. I became physically sick and felt that I had to purge my body of filth. In a rebalancing session, with guided meditation, the rebalancer was giving the command to the higher self for my lover to reveal its true nature, and I saw him before my eyes like a monster that took my will and energy.
I said I did not believe a human being could be a monster, and I believed in unconditional love.
However, this made me discover that only a heart-connection can be flowing, full and light, and everything else becomes a (energy) drag for the “giver” and a energy drug for the receiver, because there is no real giving and receiving in this modus, and thus both persons are caught in a vicious circle of interchangeable victim-and-oppressor modes that reinforce each other. So I took action on that insight and broke up.
However, I am eternally grateful that now I really know by experience not only the “ultimate truth” and the “intimate truth” but also the laws of the Creator that reveal themselves as limits that cannot be surpassed because they are the patterns on which life itself is built.
Thank you very much, and with much love.
James: Lovely to hear from you. I enjoyed your email. Appreciation is always appreciated. I am glad that you “saw the light” about the relationship. Actually, common sense should tell you that open relationships are a bad idea, but when someone wants love, common sense is often a casualty. Yes, awareness, in terms of people, is just what they put their attention on. This statement is very excellent: “It is not ‘me’ putting the attention on ‘the self,’ it is the self (attention) that manifests itself in a question-and-answer modus, and the stream between it, to develop, create and grow. The question (the little me looking for truth) is no other then the big self on its journey to complete recognition; the knower and the knowledge are the same.”
The real issue is why you can’t find the love in yourself. Nobody can give it to you.
~ Much love, James