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Relax and Enjoy the Show
Dan: Dear Ram, please give me your thoughts on the following; it may be a bit of a mix-up – words coming both from the observer and the ego.
Ram: If you know the observer and the ego, you must be the self.
Dan: Realized or not, the self is there. So inquiry is just about educating the intellect?
Dan: After that last talk you gave, the intellect appears to have confidently accepted the knowledge regardless of whether the body is physically dull or if unpleasant feelings appear. It has been very clear lately. I have been able to observe this character called Dan quite easily. The “observer mode” is quite consistent. It is great because it allows a lot of control over actions. I can firmly see that thoughts are just thoughts and I am not the thoughts. It is very liberating. And I quickly catch the ego when it goes on autopilot. If it is flattered or acting out an emotion, I see it and can dismiss it. I also catch it when it gets into enlightenment mode.
Ram: These are the symptoms of self-knowledge, Dan. Good for you.
Dan: Is it correct to say the momentum of being the “observer” is coming easier and easier, faster and faster?
Ram: I know what you mean, but this is not a good way to say it. It is best to say that you are identifying with awareness more and more.
Dan: Please give me your thoughts on my situation. I got off antidepressants, which were given to ease OCD. There is more stress, paranoia and anxiety as a result. And the ego is stronger.
Ram: Yes, the pills just mask the anxiety. They do not make it go away.
Dan: Do you suggest I keep using the self-knowledge and the knowledge of the three energies to cope with it?
Ram: I think you should, but you have to understand that I cannot take responsibility for you staying off your meds. I don’t know you well enough to make a proper diagnosis. But I think you should try to stay as the observer and apply the knowledge of the three energies at all times. You should always think that what you feel is not real. It is going to be hard work, Dan, because these negative vasanas are strong. But the alternative is that you become addicted to drugs. At no age is it a solution, but at your age it is definitely not a good solution. After a while the homeostatic effect kicks in and the drugs don’t work any more. Then you have to get on a stronger ones.
OCD is about fear. It is the fear-vasana gone ballistic. I don’t know if Vedanta will work, but it is worth a try. Have you had talk therapy? Karma yoga should help because fear is just anxiety about what is going to happen. When you know that what happens is not up to you, you can relax. At the same time you need to find good reasons to love yourself. Love drives out fear.
Dan: All I can do it sit back and enjoy the show?