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Martin: Hi, James. I just wanted to let you know that I got my psychology straight and my identity issue corrected. The death issue has been resolved by reflecting on awareness, not only as my true identity, but as the identity of those that have passed; it has been made clear that nothing has been lost except the existence of that apparent form in this apparent reality. They will be missed in that way from the “play” of life but I know that they are always present just as I am always present, so now there’s nothing to grieve about. I guess this is the answer I was looking for from you but I know that you, as a teacher, want the disciple to learn or figure out on their own.
James: I am happy to help but the answer from a teacher is only meaningful when you have worked the issue out on your own. People only hear what they want to hear – until they are ready to listen. You know the Gita: only the form, the body, dies. What you love – the self – does not die. Just keep contemplating the teachings.
Martin: I watched the Gita videos again, so that helped. This old type of suffering is exactly why I sought to find this teaching and find freedom from it. The mind hasn’t fully accepted the truth even though it knows it’s the truth, so I’ll keep training the mind until the ego relents.
James: You know the truth. The mind will accept it when it accepts it. Learn to enjoy the mind as it is. It is like a child. You don’t expect your child to be wise when he or she is seven. You know that wisdom comes in the fullness of time. So you love it all along the way and observe its growth. There is no final result.
Martin: I hope we’re still okay. Drop me a short note, if you would. I don’t want to keep bothering you with emails if you’re not interested in hearing what I have to say. I’ll keep it more dispassionate and scientific from here on.
James: Why wouldn’t we be okay, Martin? Of course we are. I think you are missing the upside of my recent emails. It is natural to assume when I didn’t reply before that there was some kind of personal statement about whether I liked you or not but there wasn’t. You have no idea how much was on my plate at that time. I don’t know why I didn’t reply, probably because I didn’t feel you were clear about what you wanted. I honestly can’t remember. And all the answers are there in the books, website, satsangs and videos. I am replying in a timely fashion now because I have lots of time. I am in Spain with no teachings, no people. You are doing very well, Martin, making great progress. Not to worry.
Martin: Sorry to write again so soon but I found an email that I never got an answer for in the e-satsangs!
James: I thought that I replied to your email, Martin. Evidently I just forgot to send it. You have no idea how many people want to speak with me, Martin. I can only do so much and you need to know that this is not a job; I am not remunerated for it. I do it as a service. I need to live my life too. I do much more than most teachers but I am not a slave to the spiritual needs of people.
Sometimes people are just lonely and needy and want to talk. I have heard the same stories – it is always only one story in the end – over and over, ad infinitum, ad naseum. It is truly a wonder that I reply to any of them, saying the same thing over and over for forty-five years. I am either a saint or a fool, it is not clear which.
Just keep at it. Spend a couple of hours a day with the Vedanta. Live a balanced life. There is no end result. You are the self. The results of action are up to Isvara. Relax and enjoy. Go fishing. Waste time. Take your wife out to dinner, buy her roses. Smell the roses. Take it easy. I love you.
Martin: I was happy to finally get to read them to find out how you viewed the “story.” I guess I didn’t handle the death of my martial arts teacher as well but after twenty-two years of being his student and personal assistant I guess that’s not so hard to understand, why it took longer.
I had backed off of the Vedanta teachings and video, and now I understand that’s really not a good idea for me until however long it takes for the knowledge to click. I won’t back off again. Sorry I fell back a bit. Hope you’re doing well and you are enjoying your house. ☺ I should be able to catch you in Golden, Colorado, or later in August in Oregon. I like the camping idea best, actually. ☺ I’m a nature-lover.
Thanks for being you and being there when I needed a teacher. I hope you’re still there for that. Take care.
~ Love, Martin
James: Yes, I am still there for that, Martin. This is all about eagerness for results. The mind is a very conservative instrument, the vasanas keep it tied down. You are not young any more. The tamas is there. The only way to deal with tamas is persistence. It is natural to fall off the path when a big attachment comes into play. You have to mentor yourself eventually. God put me here to help convince you that you can stand alone. You are doing fine. Don’t be eager for results. Keep the required attitude and soldier on. Yes, come to Trout Lake.
~ Love James