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Karl: Hi, Ram. I wanted to add a few things: first of all, it is really an honour to do the translation. Yesterday evening I started and was at least able to translate the first two introductory pages. I would say I will be finished in less than six months, and it is at least a kind of sadhana for me. ☺
Ram: I am very happy you are doing it, Karl.
Karl: About your love essays: great stuff! The Non-Dual Love and Sex one is really great and was exactly the wisdom I needed at the moment.
Karl: Since one month I am in this relationship thing with a woman from my town… she’s 29 and I would say a good soul… BUT (here comes the BUT MONSTER!!!) she is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Honestly, I never met someone so tamasic. In the first weeks I did not realise it. I know, my words sound unkind, but I don’t mean it in a nasty way. It is more like that it totally saddens me.
Ram: When the passion wears off, the eye of truth starts working.
Karl: Mind you, my intention is not to whine and complain about how evil samsara is or anything. I am fine! It is more like I realised that I cannot do this kind of superficial sex-relationship thing anymore. And when I read your essay about this topic yesterday I more and more understood why: it is too gross and too dull. It is hollow as anything.
Ram: It can be great, but you need to do your due diligence, i.e. take time to connect with the person within the body. It may come as a surprise to you, but women are human beings and they want to be loved for who they are. Admittedly, it is difficult to love a spiritual moron, man or woman (although I accomplished the feat a few times with my great yoga power!), but if you take your time and find someone who is on the same wavelength, sex can be sexsational! Anyway, the important bit is that you are getting a bit of distance on this sex vasana. Even if you feel like having sex every five minutes, you can’t do it if you want a good relationship. You have to pay attention to the person inside and honor it.
Karl: I don’t expect a woman to be super-intelligent, deeply philosophical and whatnot… no! And even more, I would never even try to talk about Vedanta or something to anyone who is not interested and not even ready for that… I am not a teacher of it anyway, so that is even more pointless. I enjoy the wisdom of Vedanta and that’s it.
Ram: In my case, my wife gets turned on by Vedanta-talk, so I talk it night and day. You can imagine how good the sex is because I am the great sage, Ramji Maharaj, and like my guru I am a Vedanta computer! I don’t say this to make you jealous, not at all. ☺
Karl: I think the intention of my email is just to talk about my latest experiences and realisations. It is not about, “Please, Bhagavan, give me a girlfriend because I am such a needy little guy.”
Ram: Well, it is good to have experiences in life, to suffer and enjoy. This is how you grow. I am glad you got away from that backward town and your useless computer buddies and the internet. You were so bored.
Karl: Maybe what saddens me is (and you also mention this in your great essay) I created karma – and this sucks! I do not want to and I am sorry.
Ram: Well, it is not the kiss of death, but it is really a violation of dharma to have sex with someone and then dump them unless it is explicitly understood that it is just about sex. This is why you have to take your time and try to understand the total person before you hop into bed. Most women want love and commitment and security, and they will sometimes use sex to get it. Once they give you their treasure, they expect to be respected. It is reasonable. Men are often quite primitive and seem to basically only want pleasure.
Karl: As you always say, no (real) harm done!
Ram: That’s right. She will get over it and maybe she will learn something about herself. God bless her.
Karl: It was one month of lying on the couch, watching movies and having sex… but it looks like that I cannot go on that way. It looks like I do not have a sex vasana problem at all.
Ram: Well, let’s see how it goes. I guess that you will do it a few more times and get completely disgusted with yourself and then it will more or less go away on its own. I would not trade places with you. When I was your age I prayed for Bhagavan to take away my sex drive. Now that I no longer have one or care about it, I have a great sex life. Go figure.
Karl: That’s the news from my little life.
Ram: Keep it coming. You are like my favorite soap opera. ☺