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Signs of Enlightenment
Mary: Dearest Ram, I’ve thought about writing you on a number of occasions, but I figured I’d give the “shift” that happened about a month ago a bit of time to settle in, so to speak. A number of weeks ago I discovered you and your satsangs.
Thank you very, very much for what you freely offer, Ram. You are the living, embodied, English-is-my-first-language Light that I desired but was beginning to wonder if I’d ever find.
I was introduced to non-duality teachings a couple of years ago. After reading some Tolle material, I explored further and discovered Ramana and Nisargadatta. I was definitely attracted to what they presented, and I learned quite a bit, but simultaneously something seemed missing… certain things weren’t clear and left confusion. (By the way, please pardon the lingo as I write from the “doer’s” perspective. It seems terribly awkward to communicate all of this otherwise!)
After somewhat of a break from all the reading, I returned to the subject maybe late last November/early December, but this time I ended up really “connecting” with Ramana’s teachings and stayed with that. Occasionally I yearned for someone who was “realized,” who spoke English as his/her primary language AND who seemed to have genuine teaching attributes, but in my dabblings online I did not find satisfaction.
Anyway, one night in late January I was trying to settle into quiet sitting meditation when a “shift” occurred and it was crystal-clear: “Wait! There aren’t two selves, one trying to find the other. I’M what I have been looking for!” I laughed and felt a bit of wonder, and then noticed the most profound peace ensue. The search was over. With the lack of identity-conflict, there was no more tension – only peace, acceptance, happiness and a newfound quiet yet bold confidence.
The next day “Mary” walked around a bit out of sorts, not knowing what to do, because suddenly there was no need to “practice” anymore. It was clear as could be: there was nothing left “to do.” But it didn’t matter in light of the profound peace and happiness, the fulfillment.
Cutting to the chase here… it got to the point that I (as the apparent self) needed some clarification about what had happened… what that “shift” truly indicated. On one hand, I was as content as could be. Nothing bothered me. I was peaceful and undisturbed in relationships and worldly situations that had previously ruffled me emotionally. The mind could be zinging with thoughts and they didn’t touch me… it didn’t matter. I was content in myself. I knew I was happiness itself.
But simultaneously there still seemed to be an ego operating at some level, or some aspect of the subtle body that wasn’t “cleaned up,” and I didn’t understand that. Neither Ramana’s nor Nisargadatta’s teachings helped me in that regard. So I went searching online again for some gem of an enlightened being who spoke English fluently. As you know, there are scads of English-speaking folks online who offer up all sorts of “wisdom” and advice. But nothing clicked with me until a few weeks ago when I found His Holiness Ramji the Great. ☺
You and your website… your elucidation of Vedanta… is just what I wanted and needed. I am incredibly grateful and appreciative! Thank you very, very much for appearing to teach me, Ram! ☺
I have more I would like to express, but I’ll hold off for another time, as this is already quite lengthy!
~ Much love, respect and plentiful hugs, Mary
James: You have no idea what a great pleasure it is to receive this letter from you. I am so happy that the website and Vedanta à la the great and wondrous Ramji is so well appreciated by you. I am so happy that you know very well that you are me and I am you. What could be better? I particularly enjoyed the clarity of the writing itself. Take care of yourself, Mary, and if I can be of assistance feel free to write.