Search & Read
Martin: Dear Ram and Sundari, up until last week, I thought I still may be able to make it to the Bhagavad Gita teaching in January, even if only for a week or two, but now it’s clear that it’s not the right thing for me to do. My attention is needed in a number of critical areas for which there is no one else to take over.
Before I send this, I also need to say – really, for myself – that there has been a huge struggle going on, inside of me mostly, with so many habits of thought and action that seem to cover the clarity that I know is always here. I remember sitting across from you, Ramji, at lunch in Doro, and you said to me, “One of the first things that I noticed about you was your dispassion,” and those words have come back to me many, many times in the last few months since I also remember that you said that sometimes you say things that aren’t true but that are more of an intention towards truth and beauty for the person that you are speaking to.
While I can truly see that there is no happiness in objects – none – I still feel attracted to distraction or alcohol or sex or a possible relationship or a shiny new car. I’m not sure where I’m going with this except that somehow to say this with you as a witness objectifies it so that I can stand more apart from it.
I look forward to the time, soon, I hope, when I can join the company of the wise.
~ With love, Martin
Ram: Darn! I was hoping you were coming, Martin. Yes, indeed, come to Europe. You will need a break by then.
It’s true that I encourage people, but accepting a negative view is not necessarily not telling the truth. What I meant by “dispassion” was what I see in this letter, a clear seeing of what your dharma is. About the desires, why struggle with them? Including the desire for moksa. You are already free, so you are free to do business with a happy mind. Take the karma yoga view and enjoy the challenge of making your baby work. And as far as “your” desires are concerned, you are not an axe murderer or a child molester or a strong-arm robber, so what is actually unspiritual about a new car – I just got one – and sex – I am definitely not celibate – or anything else? The car is Bhagavan, the girlfriend is Bhagavan, etc. Please don’t make an issue of it, Martin. As my guru used to say, “Sin intelligently.” See everything as the self and enjoy! You are a lucky guy. You have it all. Now, just dump the worries about business and about spirituality.
Karma yoga is just knowledge. It is not about not following your relative nature. If you have a business vasana, it is Isvara creating wealth. Are you really worried about money or do you not want to let others down? Or are you afraid of failing? None of this is up to you.
Inquiry is going on all the time no matter what you do anyway. It is the self in you that is inquiring. There is nothing to give up or to change on the relative level, only something to understand. You do not have to live up to some idea of purity, etc. to get some imaginary liberation. You are already free. This is how you should think. To repeat: you are free to take care of business and chase the ladies. Do it happily. Leave the results to Bhagavan. If the business is meant to tank, it will tank, if not, not. If you are meant to “get free” you will get free, if not, not.
Anyway, we will miss you, Martin.
~ Much love, Ram and Sundari