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Sven: Dear James, something enormous is happening. I just want to share with you something that happened yesterday when driving to work.
The mind seemed to relax for a moment, and I seemed to almost “forget” myself for a minute. There was a silence and a form of insight that was both disturbing and overwhelming, although I managed not to panic. It went something like this, although not in words:
“The reality outside of you, the world and the trees and the sky, is neutral and natural, it is only what it is. You will never find anything there other than this stillness and neutrality. There is nothing outside of you, no god ‘out there’ and no future or otherness, only peaceful neutrality that will never tell you anything or answer any of your questions. That’s why your search there has not given any sense of fulfillment, no matter what you have done or tried. You are all there is, there is nothing else and never will be. You yourself are the enormous depth and source of All.”
There was some sweating going on and the body felt a little upset and nervous by this event but it faded after a while. I seemed to be confronted with the fact that this is actually the way things are. It is like the rug is pulled from under your feet. Its like finding out that 90% of one’s perception of reality was just an assumption without any basis.
Is this what Nisargadatta means when he says, “The roof may come falling down on your head,” etc?
James: Hi, Sven. The short answer – yes! What happened is just consciousness showing you the nature of objects. It is a very important understanding. Now you are free to look for happiness where it is – in you, the “source” of all. Naturally, the ego is going to be a bit upset – I have a friend who was depressed for two years when she realized this – but it should not be taken negatively. But you should look on the bright side. Since there is nothing “out there” you needn’t waste time trying to squeeze happiness out of objects. Look to the one to whom this insight occurred. That is the real you, and it is anything but empty. It is fullness itself. It is enormous.
~ Much love, James