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The Point of No Return
Marilyn: Hi, James! Good to hear from you and know where you are, safe in Portland. I love the satsang with Jill.
I love Portland! I was there once in September in the late nineties for a long weekend learning energy medicine. It was just beautiful.
I have been listening to your audios from the Berlin satsangs every day, and they blow me away every time. I’m firmly ensconced in the Vedanta to the point of no return. I know this much is true! Satsang with you in England has thrown me over the edge. Yeah, something definitely happened there.
I can relate so much to what Jill is saying. I loved reading her experiences of assimilating the knowledge, and your responses. Thank you for sending that out.
My daughter is in a serious crisis right now, a crisis that would make any parent quake in their shoes.
It was interesting because when I found out I initially responded with dispassion. But then I noticed the little me begin to wonder if I shouldn’t be feeling a little more upset.
I noticed her being more affected by the attitudes and beliefs and opinions of those who still have both feet in samsara… and think I still do too… and I noticed that I started to react in a way samsaris would expect and feel more comfortable with. I also noticed that I became quite agitated and felt overly responsible for her choices, and was upset with this for a couple of days, overly identified with the drama, becoming more separate from the sattvic state of mind.
But I knew that awareness was watching everything the whole time of course and didn’t interfere. Then I began listening more deeply to your audios to apply them more specifically to the situation. Once again, I returned to dispassion with renewed confidence, identifying more with the calm eye watching it all and responding as needed, without enabling.
As for the boyfriend situation, I am very pleasantly surprised with how well we are getting along enriching each other’s lives. He has been a tremendous help decluttering my home and providing some companionship. I know it’s because I’m not worried about getting or not getting what I think I want out of the situation (being that I know there’s an upside and downside that makes everything zero-sum anyway), and so I am free to just enjoy it for what it is and respond naturally to each moment as I see fit with no expectations or worries. If and when it no longer works, I’ll be just fine, because I do know the self can never be affected by anything that comes and goes.
~ Much love, Marilyn
James: Dear Marilyn, it is very lovely to hear from you. I am so happy that self-inquiry, à la Vedanta, is working for you, that you are past the point of no return. I suppose I needn’t offer encouragement but I will – keep it up! From the way you describe your relationship to your daughter and boyfriend, it definitely does show that the teachings are working.
~ Much love, James