Salutations Ramij,
It’s been almost five months since I last wrote to you. In these past few months, Vedanta, especially your teachings, have been of incredible help. Sometimes I wake up in the night as the little devils try to attack me (which they sometimes succeeded in doing) but thank god I have found an impregnable refuge: “I am pure awareness”! I hold onto this thought until there is silence in me; or rather, until I become this stillness and then peace returns to me. Oh what a relief – thank you so much!
I now also know what Brahma-Loka is: every morning after gymnastics I lie on my mat, relax and listen to your audio teachings. I very quickly lose the feeling of having a body … I am completely awake and go into this silence … and hear your teachings for the umpteenth time. That was and is my re-charge for the day. Indeed, this daily hour is the best hour for Jiva me.
At the same time, I become more and more aware of how things just happen, actions just happens not by me, but through my body. I am not the doer means I am pure awareness. I drive to visit mother who is old and ill and lives six hours away in another country. I don’t remember how often I’ve crossed the border but haven’t been stopped for a corona-check! Isvara is supporting me always. “I” do what is required. I have no more reflections on these actions; neither do I feel great about them, nor is there any reason to complain about this situation and the troubles that inevitably come. It is what it is and it just happens. Thank you for the Karma Yoga teaching – it has supported me infinitely.
I also cannot say that what I do is really intentional or very systematic – it is an effect of many factors working through me. This “field of existence” acts through me, it just happens and I try less and less to “own” it. It is a strange feeling – comparable to lucid dreaming, this feeling of being “wide awake” in a dream and often I am a little surprised that I AM HERE.
I suspect this amazing experience is due to the silence in my head. This gift to be in this life, in existence, to BE and to be able to experience this beauty. Thanks a lot! I suppose this is the shift (viparaya) you have mentioned.
Yesterday my wife said to me that I had become very calm – I guess she also meant a bit boring. But I am neither calm nor boring – I am this alertness. Much love and a rain of blessings to you, Ramij
Ramji: Isvara blesses us according to our qualifications, Heinrich. You know the value of Vedanta and you are committed to actualizing this great wisdom on a daily basis.   I don’t need to encourage you because the results of your actions bless you. They will continue to bless you as you merge into the Light.  That silence in your head is Isvara as Sattva, the Knower and the Knowledge, which allows you to understand that neither Henirich or you, Awareness, are doing anything. Isvara is the factor that is not the same but not different from you, Existence shining as pure Awareness. It makes everything happen inwardly and outwardly and generates the feeling of gratitude and wonder that you are experiencing.  Perhaps you might enjoy one of my recent books, Existence Shining as Awareness.
Much love,
Ramji
