Ganesh: Your words of self-knowledge are always welcome to my heart, thank you!
I analyzed my reaction to your latest email. I found when I look at this samskara (I think it is a samskara because of the past with much of the same vasanas repeated), it is this voice of diminishment (the victim one) – I have great compassion for Ganesh because I know what type of story has been seemingly playing in his mind. I cannot fully understand this type of karma, because I see clearly this has nothing to do with me, it is so impersonal. It is very nice and peaceful to know that but very strange at the same time. Gratitude is the best attitude toward this karma (karma yoga).
Sundari: Yes, samskaras are a conglomeration of vasanas that form a complex, usually also formed by pratibandikas, which are deeply-rooted vasanas in the causal body that one cannot see without them being pushed out by Isvara. They are the “fetus in the womb” type of samskara, and they will only come out when the conditions are right. We can know they are there, but all we can do about them is offer them to Isvara.
Ganesh: This samskara has been playing out a long time, and it is interesting to see how much it has been triggered since I decided to leave my home. Some friends judged me and were jealous. Some others say that I must be careful to not join a sect! Other tell me how dangerous it was to drive on like that alone. And I heard so many other small comments and opinions. Many of these thoughts were thoughts I never think by myself, actually.
Sundari: Never given any credence to what others think, it truly does not matter. People who think they are people can only discriminate and judge according to their vasanas as people – and they think you are a person. We have it all the time and discount it immediately. Relate to a samsari as a person because you must, but always remain seated in the self. Banish all the VODs – Voices of Diminishment – as they arise in the mind. Think of Luke Skywalker in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, who with R2-D2 used a DL-44 blaster pistol to blast away the “baddies”! The VODs are toxic, bad thoughts; get rid of them as soon as you see them because if they get a grip they can cloud discrimination and pull you back into ignorance and self-doubt. You know who you are, self-knowledge never fails. Only you can validate yourself, nobody else.
Ganesh: Why do I feel this devastation? I think it is because I love you and Ramji very much as myself, and this on an impersonal level too. But on the level of communication I experience that you are the only one with whom I can communicate about Vedanta, sharing myself without being misunderstood or judged. I have very few friends and to socialize is not something that I have learned. Sincerely, I am glad for that.
So the first I think when I read your words was… oooh, no! my actions or attention (love) have been misunderstood – sadness experience comes, but this was a pattern going on for a long time that I thought was finished. But no, ha ha, foolish of me to think that!
You put the finger on the right button! So beautifully and so lovely – and now this one is released – it was some tough day, yes, really, but I enjoyed it at the same time, as it is a real gift! – thank you, Sundari, I love you. And Ramji sent me a beautiful message too. I think you know well this how much this trip costs for the self-actualisation part (stop me if I am wrong!), and therefore I am so grateful to have the possibility of writing to you and keeping in contact by email.
Sundari: We have so much love for you too, Ganesh!
Ganesh: Everything I do for others is not different to the thing I do for myself. Also, I understand this as many small examples (thoughts) of stopping or discouraging this self-actualisation for myself (it is right to understand this like that?), since self-actualisation is karma yoga on a total macrocosmic level. It is normal, I think, to feel and understand the sorrow, pain and joy as universal, as the gunas playing out and not personal. I can feel others’ pain, sorrow, joy very easily and clearly. I think it is wrong to think that because it is universal so it is bigger.
Sundari: Self-knowledge gives us great compassion, but not idiot compassion. We understand how ignorance works and how pointless it is to try to change anything. Ignorance comes in the form of duality, and once dualistic thoughts take over the mind, it forgets who it is (even just temporarily) and discrimination and dispassion are no longer possible. Once emotion takes over the mind, it is taken over by duality and suffers. That is why I advise you to use the VOD blaster to get rid of these negative thoughts, at once!
