Dear Ramji,
Thanks for your teaching. I feel so grateful to have a teacher like you. I feel that the knowledge “opens” more and more itself. As the mind becomes pure, it is possible to understand what is there… I read something and I tell myself: Ramji has already repeated that many times, I read that many times bevor, but I could not get it… And now… I read it and I can see it… The mind must be prepared to understand.What hides the Knowledge is a unprepared mind. The knowledge shines, shows itself… But the mind cannot grasp it when it is not prepared… Does it make sense?
Ramji: Yes, indeed.
I read Yoga of Love and it makes total sense to dedicate the mind to see, to practice the “oneness” of everything.. Everything is the Self, every being is the Self wearing Maya’s costume. There is only me…and this practice is the key to self-love.
And now, when I read, “Don’t expect the experience of waking up. Waking up is not an experience.” I thought something so beautiful I would like to share with you.
I have a huge desire inside of me. Before Vedanta, I directed the desire to objects because I did not know what to do with it. With Vedanta, I try to direct the desire to moksa. I feel attracted by objects, but I try to redirect this attraction to self-knowledge and actualization. It looks like I study Vedanta when I sleep sometimes.
This huge desire helps me to see how I am. But at the same time, I know that I am not the desire. I am not an experience. I am that which gives life to desire and experience.
I see the desire and I see the fear of losing the desire and I ask myself what does it mean to lose desire? It means to be free of desire. It means be able to desire without attachment. What does it mean to desire without attachment? It means I do not act impulsively and blindly. I inquire before I act. I have dharma in mind when I act.
But desire turns into something else, that we cannot call desire anymore.
I see a warm heart, satisfied, present, attentive, immersed (without attachment) in situations. This heart delights itself in its own love, in its nature. It does not demand anything. There is such a supreme satisfaction, so palpable. There is nothing to desire for oneself, to want to take for oneself. I feel right now the warmth of that completeness.
Fullfillment, completeness is so palpable that the only possible action is to share, share, share, share because this love has no end. It does not stop overflowing. It is an actionless action that flows by itself.Not being attached to desire does not mean death, abatement, boredom. It does not mean that I can no longer have fun with the world. Transcending desire is warm and alive. It is pure, supreme, unlimited satisfaction.
It is so beautiful! I would like to feel it 24 hours a day. I see everything in my imagination. I would exchange any sensation, any experience, any desire for this perennial satisfaction.
Much love,
Francine
