Peter: Yes, it is the Identity part that was confusing that your response tuned me into.
Sundari: Identity is what discrimination hangs on. Wwe discussed the two orders of reality in our previous exchange, satya/the Self is that which is always present and unchanging, mithya, the jiva/world, is that which is not always present and always changing. The defining question in any situation in the transactional reality is: Are you discriminating mithya from mithya, or satya from mithya? In the former, you are stuck in ‘the box’ of duality trying to figure things out within it. As there are no real or lasting solutions in mithya, this is where all suffering takes place. In mithya, the apparent reality, it is hard to know the truth about anything because nothing is what it seems. Furthermore, only Isvara has knowledge of all the factors in the Field. But in the latter case, taking the position of the non-experiencing witness, discriminating satya from mithya, you are out of the box observing the goings-on within the box, unaffected by it. As Satya suffering is understood from the perspective of the Self, as the inevitable working out of the gunas in mithya, so that the jiva can work out its karma. For satya, there is no mithya, no karma, no gunas, and no suffering.
So, whenever you use the word ‘I’ press pause and ask yourself, who is talking here? What or who does the ‘I’ refer to? It’s important to discriminate in mithya and also between both orders of reality, to be free of suffering. The Self is never in mithya, but the jiva lives in the apparent reality and must function according to the laws that run the Field. Knowing you are the Self does not change this part for the jiva, it just clearly defines your true identity. It may or may not change the way the jiva functions in the world, though usually, it does because Self-knowledge takes care of the gunas, it negates the idea of doership, renders binding vasanas non-binding, and cleans up the jiva’s karma. But it is not about perfecting the jiva; there is no need for that as the jiva is not real.
However, when taking a stand as Awareness, what makes things tricky because ignorance is so subtle, is the split mind watching itself. The ego has a slippery tendency to claim to be Awareness. But who is doing the claiming? Is it ‘unfiltered’ Awareness (meaning not subject to conditioning) or is it the ego, the jiva program dressed up as Awareness? How do you know, and how to deal with that? Taking a stand is done with the mind and can lead to a kind of self-hypnosis that makes the Jiva think it is the Self without fully understanding what it means to BE the Self.
Anyone can say they are the Self because it’s true. But so what? If Self-knowledge does not assimilate and translate into the life of the jiva it is still not free. Of course, based on logic alone, as I said in my last email, is there an essential difference between one ray of the sun and the sun itself? No, their essence is light. Thus, remember that the jiva can claim its identity as the Self, but only when its knowledge of satya and mithya is firm. Discrimination between Satya and mithya is the gold standard, there is no other for moksa.
The practice “I am Awareness” does not give you the experience of Awareness or make you Awareness. It negates the idea “I am the jiva.” When the jiva is negated (meaning it is understood to be only apparently real, i.e., not always present and subject to change) the inquirer should be mindful of the Awareness that remains. Negating the jiva often produces a void, and nature abhors a vacuum. Many inquirers get stuck here and depression can set it if they cannot take the next step, which is understanding that the emptiness of the void is an object known by the fullness of the Self, the ever-present unchanging witness. Or, at that time, many inquirers ‘start’ to experience as Awareness and make a big fuss about it even though you have only ever been experiencing as Awareness all along because that is the only option as this is a nondual reality! So, the discrimination between Jiva’s experience of Awareness and the Self’s experience of Awareness is essential.
The reason people get stuck in the claim of enlightenment is that it generates sublime emotions i.e., bhakti, which makes you attractive to others and to yourself. It is true that if you think you are enlightened you feel pretty good about your (jiva) self all the time even if you are only enlightened as an ego. Jiva’s self-esteem is enormously enhanced by the “I am Awareness” practice, which is a good thing. It is definitely preferable to the time when your happiness depended on intermittent situations of validation available to samsaris. But it is still not moksa.
The downside is that the ego gets so big you imagine you are superior to everyone. Sadly, for the little jiva, “I am enlightened” doesn’t mean “only I am enlightened” or “I am more enlightened than others.” In fact, claiming it usually means that assimilation of the teachings has not taken place. No truly enlightened person would make that statement. They would only say: ‘I am the Self”. Many inquirers who fall into this trap get ‘enlightened’ without the enlightenment! We see this happen quite regularly. Ignorance does not give up easily and can sneak up on you when you think you are free of it. Such is the power of Maya to delude.
The inescapable fact is that while it is fairly easy to say “I am the Self as the jiva, it is quite another to say it as the Self. The Self’s experience of itself is qualitatively different from the jiva’s experience of the Self as an object or as objects. This realization may well be a painful moment for inquirers who are very convinced that they are enlightened without knowing that they are only enlightened as a jiva/ego, not as the Self.
Once moksa has obtained and Self-knowledge is permanent, you spontaneously feel satisfied, peaceful, and content regardless of external circumstances. You definitely do not need validation because you are what validates everything. It means you are free of the jiva story permanently, even though your inborn nature remains the same, it is as good as non-existent and is instantly dismissed. You are no longer conditioned by anything in mithya. The mind is completely free of dependence on objects for happiness. Thus, you are free when you are more identified with Awareness than with your identity as a jiva, the body/mind.
Although a truly free person always stands out because they have such self-confidence and peace, the scripture says that is very hard to tell an enlightened person from an unenlightened person. They do not necessarily behave differently, on the outside. There are no rules regarding the behavior of a free person. Discrimination, not behavior, is the mark of a free person. It is always in the motivation. A free person does nothing for happiness but does everything happily. What is visible is that a free person never breaks dharma, not personal or universal, and always responds appropriately when it comes to situational ethics, which is what connects the two. Free people automatically follow dharma because they are dharma and want to feel good. They know there is nothing to gain by breaking dharma.
Peter: Dear lord, indeed holding on to the identity (being “it” knowingly, asserting the identity) regardless of the form or shape I take is freedom!
Sundari: Not quite, not yet. As I pointed out above, Self-realization is where the ‘work’ of self-inquiry begins, not ends. The stage between Self-realization and Self-actualization is a tricky stage to traverse because the doer/ego/’I sense’ is still operative. Yes, it is quite correct that taking a stand in Awareness, taking the position of the nondual Self/Observer, is the main practice of self-inquiry, despite the risks of the ego-co-opting the knowledge, which happens for most inquires, at least for a while. It takes a while for the ego to surrender and get onboard with the revelation that it is not in charge, but also, that it is not going to be destroyed, either.
We call this stage Enlightenment sickness (ES), and it’s not the kiss of death; most inquirers go through it. ES is only a problem if you don’t know you have it. As a doctor (I think that is what you are?) you will know this also applies to many illnesses of the body for which modern medicine has a cure. There is a cure for ES, The scripture is the cure and it requires continued self-inquiry and total faith in it. But it’s not easy. The ego does not give up without a fight.
At this stage of self-inquiry, ‘holding onto’ or keeping the mind on the Self and thinking the opposite thought in every transaction is essential. We call it putting the knowledge into action. But once Self-knowledge is firm, there is nothing to ‘hold onto’ because there is only you. How do you hold onto yourself? Self-knowledge has actualized and is the default position of the mind. You never again confuse your identity with the jiva and have no problem with it as an object known to you. The ego has been tamed! When Self-knowledge is firm, there is no need to identify with Awareness or discriminate between experience and Awareness because you are Awareness. The knowledge is automatic, requires no thinking, and cannot be lost or forgotten. Your identity is established in the Self and is always available in every circumstance the jiva encounters.
Self-actualization means you see reality as it is, non-dual. That it is all you, but you are not it. In other words, as stated above, you reflexively see everything first as the Self and second as the jiva, who must respond appropriately to its environment even when it is fully established in its true identity as the Self. You have compassion for all life, the good and the bad. You know it cannot be any other way than it is, duality being the inevitable play between dharma and adharma so that the jiva can work out its karma. It’s all Isvara and all good, whether the jiva likes it or not.
To get to that point though requires total commitment to moksa and the presence of the requisite qualifications. You are a dedicated inquirer, so you probably know that self-inquiry has very definite requirements and three distinct stages, all of which must be completed for moksa to take place. I have attached a satsang on this if you are not that clear on this very important process. As you probably know by now, the nididhysana stage is the last, the hardest, and, usually, the longest stage. Although at this point you may have a good grasp of the teachings, it is more important than ever that Self-knowledge is applied to your life. What we find is that many inquirers who grasp the teachings quickly jump too far ahead before they have completed all the stages and requirements of self-inquiry, and they get stuck.
Unless you are highly qualified, this will trip you up and self-inquiry will not produce the much-desired fruit of firm Self-knowledge. And it is not the scripture to blame. So, make sure you are aware of the methodology for self-inquiry, it is progressive for a very good reason: ignorance is hard-wired and very subtle. The teachings are designed to provoke doubts, as I said in our last exchange. It addresses all seeming paradoxes and layers of ignorance as they arise in the mind. For this, you need to be properly taught, or the mind will interpret the teachings according to its filters or vasanas.
In the last stage of self-inquiry, karma yoga is as important as ever, though at the nididhysana stage it becomes a different kind of mind management. It is managing the mind’s involuntary as well as habitual thoughts and feeling patterns (which are bedrock duality and can survive moksa) with jnana yoga, guna knowledge. What you are aiming for in managing the gunas is deliberate thinking, which, as Self-knowledge firms up, becomes spontaneous thinking.
When moksa obtains is by the grace of Isvara, and then karma yoga and discrimination are no longer practices as such because the mind never ‘slips’ back into ignorance. The doer is negated and the mind no longer conditions to the gunas, though it manages their relative proportions always with reference to sattva. Vedanta has only one agenda and that is that suffering is bad. What use is Self-realization if the jiva is still being jerked around by the gunas?
Therefore, a cautionary note about the gunas may be necessary. Unfortunately, for most inquirers, even though Self-realization is firm or at least in the process of firming up, there is almost always still some purification to do on residual identification with the jiva program, i.e., there is still some duality in the mind. Because of this, ignorance can still stand in the way of the appreciation of your true nature as the Self, and thus discrimination is impaired and moksa cannot obtain.
Peter: Thank you very much for your insightful response. I do see the split mind, ego asserting itself, etc, but seeing them as such gives a sense of separateness from them, a “void” that is not worried or bothered. I know deeply that there is no person to be enlightened though you are correct that the ES sneaks up on you very gently, as such I do believe the eternal jiva or enlightened jiva are very appropriate terms.
Sundari: I am glad to hear this Peter, it is proof that the knowledge is at work scouring away the ignorance. The eternal jiva is not enlightened or unenlightened, it is just a principle in Awareness. It does not exist as an ‘entity’ because it is the Self, Atman.
Peter: I will continue my inquiry as “this” has become the only thing that matters in my life for past several years (sometimes I ask myself how the heck “this” has swept me away like this) and indeed NO price is high enough until all the veils of learned behaviors/beliefs/ignorance are torn. Listening to Ramji’s videos and reading his books are my main method of inquiry when alone and not at work, karma yoga and watching how the mind forms opinions and actions are performed is my “not alone practice”, if you will.
Sundari: Keep up the inquiry, you are doing great. Keep applying the knowledge, thought by thought, 24/7. That is what it takes if moksa is what you are truly after. What price freedom, right?
Peter: As for Gunas, I found them a bit incomprehensible so far, I seem to understand the sheath teaching much easier but, managing the gunas book is next on my list to read unless you have other suggestions.
Sundari: The gunas are not complicated. They are simply the three forces that create the apparent reality, both material and psychological. Like everything else they are objects known to you, the Self. But to fully understand the jiva and the Field of Existence (actually they are one and the same) in order to manage the mind, knowledge of the gunas is essential. We have tons of material on triguna vibhava yoga, or guna management. Search the Satsang section, both James books Essence and How to Attain cover them, and of course, the Yoga of the Three Energies delves into them in depth.
Peter: Thank you again for your loving commitment to shining the light on our path. Love and respect.
You are most welcome Peter, feel free to write any time we are happy to help you with your inquiry.
Much Love
Sundari