Mary: Dearest James/Ramji, I want to sincerely apologise for the recent email I wrote to you. I’m embarrassed and ashamed. I violated the moral code. I’m sorry for stealing your valuable time with petty selfishness. I assure you such awful behaviour will not happen again. I hope you are well and enjoying some holiday time with Sundari.
James: Hi, Mary.
Yes, we are both quite well, enjoying the warm sunny winter in Spain. You didn’t waste my time. I’m always there for you. In fact it was proper use of the teacher because self-deception is always a possibility at every stage of one’s practice: hearing, reflecting and assimilating. Didn’t sharing your thoughts with me make you more objective about your mind and your lifestyle? If you are going to live (a Western version of) a renunciant’s lifestyle, you can’t afford to indulge your likes and dislikes, because you are dependent on people, who you are meant to worship as Isvara, not criticize for moral lapses. So if Isvara smokes and drinks, you take it as prasad. I had a renunciant’s lifestyle until recently but I made sure that I had enough money to avoid unpleasant circumstances, which is not to say that circumstances were always pleasant. But when they were unavoidable I kept my mouth shut and suffered in silence until the karma changed and I developed a healthy contempt for my likes and dislikes. In that way one grows quickly. The inner child always wants to have its cake and eat it too, so you need to monitor it and give it a good whack when it needs it. Since you couldn’t see the hypocrisy, Isvara got you to present the problem to me, and as Isvara’s instrument I gave you the whack. I’m actually impressed that you hung in there and apologized, even though no apology is necessary. Sundari and I were actually amused by this little lila. So you can count yourself as a good karma yogi insofar as you contributed to our enjoyment. I love you, Mary. Nothing you can do can change it.
Mary: I love you too! I know situations can’t go one’s way all of the time and I don’t call the shots. But if I can change a situation for the better, then I should. I trust Isvara implicitly and I like what you said, a “healthy contempt for my likes and dislikes.”
I want to develop into a proper devotee and be a contributor, to do what needs to be done. My heart and mind is constantly with the teachings. Sadly, sometimes I lose my sense of humour about life and I have to beg Bhagavan for it back. I read in the Gita studies that the signature trait of Kali Yuga is selfishness and attachment to likes and dislikes. It made so much sense to me. I guess the big joke is that there is only the Self and everything we do or offer is for the Self alone. But we’re not self-created, ha ha. Isvara really is a pervert. I’ll see you in a few weeks. All the love and more.
Thank you, thank you for taking the time again; you’re a truly great friend and the best teacher.
