Dear James,
Because I am daily getting radiation for a month I literally shit myself yesterday, which pissed me off. I have gained weight, am fatigued, have hot flashes and sweats, need to pee all the time even when there is no pee and can’t sleep. I can’t even fart with risk of shitting my pants.
I’m not complaining. I’m watching a gorgeous outer sunrise partially obstructed by clouds and feel its warm rays on me. At the same time the inner sun is shining unobstructed upon this jiva and for a moment I am like the salt doll Swami TV talks about swimming in the ocean, not looking to discover its depth, but merely being dissolved. I know this too will pass, this sattvic moment.  Yes, there it goes as another cloud passes in front of it. Ah, eternal maya. But it is I that is witnessing it all.
James, I tell my son I am sitting at a dining table, the food has all been laid out, the guests are gathered, all has been prepared for me, now all I can do is eat it with gratitude as the sun once again peeks out from behind the clouds.
With respect and gratitude, I bow before you.