Tania: Adharma is the only thing that makes me angry. Getting to the reason for my writing to you, a mummy and a nonna, with knowledge. I told a friend of mine about how I befriended a seven-year-old and he did as I bid, he was so compliant. (Absolutely not coca cola nor big mac on my watch). Charming! Well she said, ‘Yeah when you are not the mum! ‘
Well my mum had no problem with her two children. We did as we were told.
What can I say to my friend on how to ask her daughter firmly, so that she can perhaps have her do as she is bid? Or is it just their story and so let it be? I can help her as a helper. Children and the young are the future as they say. I never wanted one of my own. Not my dharma. So, it would be good to help a fellow traveller now that I am able.
Sundari: Trying to help raise someone else’s child is not advisable, unless is specifically requested from the mother. It’s not our place to interfere with anyone else’s karma and it will not be welcomed, especially since you have never been a mum. Even being a mum, I must observe my place when it comes to how my daughter and her husband raise their kids. It’s not hard for me because they are wonderful parents and doing a great job. But even so on rare occasions I can see mistakes they make but keep quiet, unless it is appropriate for me to say something. My daughter is mostly very receptive to my input, but I tread carefully all the same.
It may well not be that your friend will not take kindly to your input, however well intentioned. It all depends on what kind of friendship you have with her. It is hard to be the observer when we can see situations that injure others, but we must remember there are no others. Everyone has the karma they have curtesy of Isvara. We cannot save of fix anyone because the world is not real. All the same, if it’s your karma to help, then help. We can make a huge difference by giving of our love and attention without attachment to results. Karma yoga! It may be acceptable to give your advice but remember that parents are touchy about advice from anyone. Parenting is such a tough job and it is easy, if not inevitable, to make mistakes. Nobody gets parenting perfectly right and discipline means different things to different people. Teaching by example is the highest form of teaching.
Tania: There really is not anything I want to do specifically, so am doing, well Isvara is ‘doing’ it. Whatever it is this jiva is ‘meant’ to do. Isvara’s desires are my desires. I don’t have any. The pandemic can finish off a few older jivas leaving the younger jivas more room and assuming I am to stick around as this jiva apparently, I can help the younger generation more. Who knows? As well as be happy hausfrau jiva. It is all good. With a secret addiction/pleasure of Vedanta.
Sundari: As the Self all desires are dharmic because there is no separation between you and Isvara. It is so great being a jiva when you know you are the Self. Things are so simple, even the gunas still do their thing. Nothing to do with you. Discrimination is constant and automatic. If it is possible to be addicted to your Self, then surely, that is the best addiction to have!
Much love Sundari
