Hi Ramji,
I hope you’re physically well and enjoying life. I recently read Sundari’s satsang about the deep childhood samskara’s which are or have prevented the full assimilation and effect of perfect freedom from and for the jiva for her. I must say l find her honesty very refreshing as teachers of freedom seldom share what is happening (mithya as it may be) in their sadhana. To have the courage as a jiva to let her students know that she is still dealing with those pesky vasanas is actually commendable and shows that she has great character. Anything less than 100% tripti just isn’t freedom.
On the other hand, knowing that one is the Self – if it is completely firm knowledge – goes a hell of a long way to make a Vedanta student’s life beautiful even if there is some ignorance tucked away somewhere deep in the bowels of the causal body waiting to reveal itself to the light. And l guess it takes as long as it takes.
My question is subtle territory at least from my jiva’s perspective but if anyone can tell me the answer it’s you Ramji. In my own sadhana l have noticed that, although l am looking at life from a vantage point which obviates the need to interfere with anything that’s apparently going on in mithya, still sometimes I’ll begin to become aware of an uncomfortable feeling and as l watch it fades and soon after l will feel like l’ve reached a new level of clarity speaking as the mind.
These days the Satya/mithya vasana is internalised to the extent that l no longer consciously need to discriminate because mithya is seen as Satya anyway, seeing everything as myself, however these very subtle changes for the jiva often occur and l was wondering whether this is bits of unseen ignorance being neutralized? Of course what else could it be. At the same time l understand that there is no ignorance from my perspective, speaking as awareness. This is quite difficult to put into words actually.
So l hope you’re able to understand where I’m coming from here? Any pointers would be very much appreciated. This is in no way a problem and ordinarily I wouldn’t have bothered you with it but because of Sundari’s satsang l thought it ties in with it and would therefore be worth the email and I hope you’re not too busy? If so I can wait as long as it takes because all vasanas are ultimately resolved in the fullness of time anyway and they cannot touch me anyway. Thank you for your time Ramji. God bless.
Ramji: Isvara blessed me with a glimmer of sattva and I’m emerging from jetlag as we speak. Yes, I was surprised and delighted that Sundari chose to share her stuff. People need to know that it’s quite fine to be a people.
Anyway, your question brings up a subtle point. I wouldn’t say that what’s happening is due to a loss of ignorance but to the loss of the effects of ignorance, which are thoughts, etc. that survive hard and fast Self knowledge. For want of ignorance the thoughts, emotions, etc. that were generated by ignorance, fall away. There is a verse in the Bhakti Sutras that says for a Self-realized person with non-dual bhakti love grows and grows.
Of course love doesn’t grow or shrink, but when a (formerly) binding vasana, due to lack of support from the jiva, merges back into awareness it produces a feeling of lightness, expansiveness, satisfaction, etc. which is more or less continuous, so it feels like everything is getting easier, better, etc. It’s a both/and as usual. You think you can’t feel better than you’re feeling now and you can’t but tomorrow you feel even more satisfied and grateful. You find yourself appreciating the smallest things with great tenderness. It is a great wonder.
