Dear Ramji,
Thank you, thank you for You, for the Guru who came when the conditions were right.
After 5 or so years of listening to the teachings, attending some seminars, reading satsangs and books, talking about Vedanta, and marinating in the knowledge and understanding of who I really AM, the sattvic thought, “NOW you are ready to hear the teachings” streamed across the mind like a banner announcing an important moment.
Much of these years have been a battle, as the light of Vedanta shines on the conditioning of four plus decades of Christian-influenced American/Western culture, materialism, work-ism, individualism, and perfectionism. The jiva’s been roiled with feelings of angst, anger, frustration, tension, and confusion as the mind tries to make sense of what the jiva thought was real versus Vedanta and what truly IS real.
This jiva has always wanted to know freedom, be freedom, have freedom and searched many paths to find it – Christianity, some exposure to Eastern practices and reading Nisargadatta and Krishnamurti, trying the mystic/feminine mystery school approach, Western yoga – and kept searching …then Vedanta showed up
And when it showed up the battle really began as there was so much confusion and frustration at the beginning of exposing the mind to Vedanta with all the both/and statements, the re-orienting of being Self instead of the object jiva as self. But despite this, there was a relentless fight for freedom!! Often I found I was watching the jiva make choices that it didn’t want, despite itself – like listening to a video, meditating on the teaching, reading a text or book or satsang – because the desire for freedom was so great that the jiva would not stand in the way!
Now that there has been a dismantling of conditioned thought patterns with the brilliant, ordinary logic of Vedanta, there is peace. I AM what I have been searching for- I was already there!! It’s so cleverly funny when the jiva truly sees what REALLY is! I remember when I first realized who I really AM at a weekend retreat with you in Georgia- I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror and laughed and cried at that image, at how I had thought I was the reflection in the mirror all these years 
And so now, the listening continues with joy, delight, light- heartedness, truly free!
With love and gratitude,
Mary
Dear Mary,
Appreciation is always appreciated and good for you!. It is certainly appropriate to see inquiry as a war as that pesky ignorance is hard-wired. It’s a tribute to your devotion that you stuck with it and are now reaping the benefit. As the saying goes, “Perseverance furthers.” Yes, the listening continues, not just to the teaching but to life itself. Thanks so much for the donation.
Much love,
Ramji
